"fresh from the tailgate party!"

Clearly Allah loves me after all: the Tivo told us all week we wouldn't get the UNC at NC State game and I was sad, but then we were distracted by concerts and dates with dudes and exhibition basketball games, and I mostly forgot about it. However, once again the combined powers of Jack Daniels and Joe Pa have brought me fantastic items, in the form of the 97th matchup between the Heels and the Wolfpack on the gridiron, and I can live to see another day.


Until I remember UNC men's basketball tickets have been on sale for less than twenty-four hours and are sold out after January 1st across the board. When that comes back to me, you'll find me lying in traffic on Franklin Street, but for now I'll work on yet another TJ Yates sack count.


14:11, 1st quarter:
As they sing Yates' throwing game praises (in my opinion, not so awesome), he throws the ball for the first time in the game and it is intercepted. You know, Butch, if you're not using the little Paulus, I'd like to borrow him for a few hours? I can sit here and scream and cry, and he can fetch me cool washclothes and Excedrin and stronger Jack and Cokes.

3:13, 1st quarter:
blogger's note: dex. and I have talked about the Heels' chances in this game all week and right now, after watching our defensive line bend over for the Pack during an 88-yard drive, I have to say, no, no. I do not feel optimistic about this game, I do not believe we are going to a bowl this year. I do believe my drink cup is currently empty, though; that might have a bit to do with my feelings of ennui. Just a little.

:38, 1st quarter:
After throwing a 40+ yard pass to Nicks in the corner of the endzone, a pass that did not end with a touchdown because Hakeem Nicks, wide receiver of our hearts, tripped over a sideline cone and dropped the goddamn football, TJ Yates threw the ball past a receiver by approximately three feet, straight out of bounds. Butch, we're considering sending you a zen sand garden for Yule, but I'm afraid you'll take the rocks out of it and chuck them at TJ's head, and surely the NCAA would frown upon that sort of thing?

9:50, 2nd quarter:
WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED. CHARLES BROWN INTERCEPTED A STATE PASS AND RAN 92 YARDS FOR A TOUCHDOWN. ARE WE ACTUALLY IN THIS GAME NOW? IS SOMEONE PLAYING A TRICK ON ME? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE.

1:46, 2nd quarter:
"FIRST SACK OF THE DAY ON TJ YATES. THERE WAS SOME MAN-ON-MAN ..."

Seriously, I don't even know how to deal with this. According to people who are paid to talk about this shit on television, this is the 24th sack against UNC this season; this one completed by #92, DeMario Pressley.

:19, 2nd quarter:
SACKED AGAIN. TJ YATES, YOU HAVE SHAMED YOUR FATHER. NC State's Willie Young, however, "went in with bad intentions." Good for you, Mr. Young! I have bad intentions against TJ Yates every day.

8:05, 3rd quarter:
TJ Yates, short shuttle pass to Bobby Rome, 40 yard pass to Brandon Tate for the touchdown. THANK YOU, TJ, FOR PLAYING TO YOUR STRENGTHS. Or to the state of my cardiac health, whatever; it's like you know I start to hyperventilate when you cock your arm back!

9:40, 4th quarter:
I've been trying to pretend the game isn't actually playing in front of me -- TJ hasn't been sacked again, but he hasn't done anything awesome, either, and neither has the rest of the team -- but Kendric Burney, redshirt freshman cornerback and MEMBER OF THE CAROLINA BASEBALL TEAM, intercepted the ball around Carolina's 25 yard line and returned the ball 76 yards back up the field for a touchdown. I'm not going to talk about the current score, because I'll fucking jinx it, more than I have by mentioning it at all. However.

dex.: I like to think somewhere, the Carolina baseball team is watching this game. Because Kendric is playing? And right now they're all flailing their arms, and somebody just dumped a beer on Fedex.
shep.: *chokes on Jack and Coke*
dex.: That's how it's happening in my head, at least.

:06, 4th quarter:
We're in the midst of the best drive I've seen this team commit to all year, they're saying things like 'this is where heroes are made', and TJ throws back-to-back incomplete passes. IS HAKEEM NICKS HURT? I CANNOT HANDLE THIS.

:01, 4th quarter:
One second left in the game and the touchdown pass to Nicks in the endzone is intercepted by Jimmie Sutton III. You know, and I wonder why people are convinced I have a drinking problem; thank you, THANK YOU TJ YATES. Final score, 27-31, State.