Showing posts with label the poet laureate of durham. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the poet laureate of durham. Show all posts

Sunday, September 9, 2007

"how is the sex cannon smiling on the side lines? does he have the memory of a goldfish?"

I decided, during WWTHD?'s weekend of new things, to follow a NFL team this year. The craziness! As a chick who's only ever followed football when threatened by siblings or people I want to see naked, I expected this to be a tough call: as a kid, my brothers badgered me into cheering for the Giants with arm burn, and my exes (or people I failed at dating) had a tendency towards being the sort of 49s fans who would deny you sex for fun.

During my, uhhhh, hour of pre-kickoff research, I learned three things about LaDainian Tomlinson, and the San Diego Chargers, that titillated and intrigued me:

  • LT's birthday is on the same day as mine (albeit in a different calendar year).
  • He is also very, very good looking!
  • Sometimes, the Chargers rock something very similar to a shade of "faggy blue" we're fond of, around here.


Clearly, the Chargers and I are meant to be together. When you consider the crush I've developed on the Padres over the last two years, it's really not a surprise.

Honestly, though, the best part of watching today's Bears/Chargers game wasn't LT's tight little butt, or his touchdown pass in the third quarter, or even Philip Rivers' cry to heaven/rage blackout. It was the opportunity for so, so many gay jokes about Rex Grossman, and Rex Grossman getting sacked, and Rex Grossman making the face whilst wearing a retarded baseball cap. It was about me drinking, and talking to my football enabler, and saying 'Sex Cannon' over and over again. And where there is football, and gay jokes, and mentions of Sex Cannons, there are inevitably jokes about Brady Quinn.

In this household, at least.

shep.: brady quinn, i long to watch you make out with jj redick
a.: adam morrison will hunt you down for that
shep.: brady quinn would try to persue jj with his bronzed abs
shep.: and adam's mustache would be so depressed
a.: so depressed adam might even shave and try looking nice
shep.: my world would be rocked, trufax


And .... scene. Time for another margarita!