They do play other sports at Carolina.

I'll be back later in the week with a longer post about the Carolina baseball team, currently heading into the home stretch of ACC play before heading to Jacksonville for the ACC tournament Memorial Day weekend, but I just wanted to note that the ACC may have been "down" in basketball this year, but you can't deny that they're tearing up the nation when it comes to baseball. Baseball America's latest poll puts Miami at #1, Carolina at #2, and Florida State (previously #1, who dropped two to Miami, previously #3, over the weekend) at #3:

North Carolina is rolling again with a 34-7 record. N.C. State's rocking with 13 wins in its past 16 games. Most seasons, that's tough enough. But not this spring in the ACC, a baseball power conference led by formidable Miami (33-4) and Florida State (34-5).

In a national poll released Monday by Baseball America, Miami was ranked No. 1, North Carolina No. 2 and FSU No. 3. (Raleigh News & Observer)

NC State, after struggling early, moves back into the top 25 at #24.

Talk about a power conference. Carolina hosts Florida State in a three game series at the USA Baseball Complex in Cary this weekend and travels to Virginia and Miami to finish the regular season the following two weekends. The series with Miami will likely decide ACC Tournament seeding.

That's an awful lot of blue in the stands.

The first two Clemson games damn near killed me. If this goes to triple overtime, y'all will be on your own, because I will be in bed with the covers over my head.



All that said: I hope Clemson's rockin' the purple uniforms again today. I find them inexplicably awesome.

20:00, first half: Honestly, I swear that we have not taken a single tip this year. We have not had the first possession of the game in any game that I can remember, and that includes such memorable opponents as UC-Santa Barbara and the Kent State Golden Flashes.

18:58, first half: Terrible turnover by Deon, missing a pass from Wayne, but he got back faster than he has all year and got a block.

18:49, first half: The press trips Wayne up -- he's not a ball handler, which is why Marcus was the backup point guard to QT when Ty was out -- and then Tyler is called for a blocking foul and Rivers drops a free throw. For once. I have a bad, bad feeling about this game. I have a good, good feeling about the way Clemson's playing.

18:40, first half: Breaking the press by tossing it over the top to Marcus for a dunk. Good eyes on Ty's part.

17:43, first half: Quick steal by Tyler, doesn't dribble off his feet, tiny finger roll. Beautiful. UNC 6, Clemson 2.

17:07, first half: Fast break points off the press are going to be important here. That means quick looks ahead, over the defensive players for Clemson, to catch an open Heel under or near the basket.

16:31, first half: Is that two quick fouls on Mays? Or did I hallucinate the first one?

First TV timeout: Good Lord, I cannot live blog this fast. UNC 10, Clemson 8.

14:35, first half: Quentin Thomas, if you foul a dude and have to ask "What'd I do?", stop doing whatever it was.

12:59, first half: Ways in which this Clemson game is already superior to the last two Clemson games: we've led in regulation already in this game! That didn't happen in the last two! And we've made three pointers! That's some magic we don't always get.

Second TV timeout: UNC 18, Clemson 16. Two fouls on Oglesby, which is a tentatively good sign for us.

11:17, first half: Stupid, stupid ticky foul by Ty Lawson on a shot we were going to clear out, and then the press forces us to turn the ball over and give up a three. With two dumb plays and a block, we go from being up 5 to down 1 with another dumb foul on Alex Stepheson breaking up a fast break. Apparently during the TV timeout we put our stupid hats on again, instead of the good defense good press breaking hats we were wearing before it. Clemson 25, UNC 21.

Third TV timeout: My assessment, being neither a baller nor a coach myself, is that this game feels far less desperate than either of our first two Clemson match-ups. We're down two -- 27-25 -- but we're forcing as many mistakes as we're making, give a one or two swing either team's way, Wayne's stepped up big, and Tyler's going to come alive eventually. I hope. I feel better now than I did earlier in the game.

7:22, first half: Whenever QT drops a basket, my heart swells. I am so proud of what that kid has done this year. He stepped up big-time. Huge.

4:36, first half: Tyler attempts to save a ball out of bounds and nearly maims half the coaching staff. Roy got out of the way this time, though!

3:58, first half: Oh, holy crap, Danny Green goes 1-on-3, misses the layup, catches his own miss, and puts it in. Mays responds on the other end. UNC 32, Clemson 31.

3:04, first half: Danny Green picks off a telegraphed pass to James Mays, chucks it down-court over Wayne Ellington's shoulder, and Wayne drops a layup.

2:35, first half: Too many turnovers -- losing it on the press right there was our ninth in the half. And then we go down to the other end and Danny Green chucks the ball not to Wayne but to Clemson. Clemson returns the favor for a three. Clemson 36, UNC 34.

10.0 sec, first half: Tyler goes to help trap, falls down, and still manages to accidentally somewhere else on the floor cause a turnover. We'll get the last shot of the half, hopefully.

Halftime: Dude, this could have been way uglier than it was. Clemson 39, UNC 38. We could have been down ten. That is really, really possible, the way we played. We should be grateful we're not.

18:51, second half: Wayne Ellington has such a beautiful little shot, tying the game at 40. Mays picks up a second foul. Clemson apparently bought all the hairs that Deron Washington cut off. Marcus drops a finger-roll runner. UNC 42, Clemson 40.

18:00, second half: Tyler loses a contact. ("He leads the league in lost contacts.") Ty drives and puts us up four. UNC 44, Clemson 40.

16:26, second half: Tyler gets fouled going up, no call, gets his own rebound, scores, draws the foul, makes the free throw. UNC 47, Clemson 44.

15:35, second half: God, why can we not stop their three pointers? They're killing us on those. Wayne gets a quick bucket and a foul. UNC 50, Clemson 49.

15:16, second half: Wayne misses both free throws but pulls down the rebound on the other end off Rivers' missed three. Tyler powers inside on the other end. UNC 52, Clemson 49. Tyler picks up his second foul at the other end.

12:18, second half: We go up eight on a Danny Green drive and the announcers start talking about how Clemson is "in trouble". Then Cliff Hammonds strips Danny Green for a basket.

11:47, second half: Beautiful over the top pass from Tyler at the baseline to Wayne, for a lob up to Marcus for the dunk. Cliff Hammonds matches, but we out-run them again for a Marcus lay-up miss and a Wayne put-back. Purnell calls time-out in an attempt to change the momentum of the game.

8:19, second half: Ty drives and drops a lay-up for a ten point lead; Marcus draws an offensive foul on Cliff Hammonds; Wayne stands on the sideline and looks like he's not quite sure what's going on right now.

7:46, second half: Danny Green drains a three and puts the Heels up 13. Picks up his fourth foul on the other end, which isn't good, but isn't fatal, either. Carolina 72, Clemson 59.

6:50, second half: Miss a dunk, give up a three pointer to Clemson. Force a turnover, turn it back over, another three pointer. Offensive foul on QT. God DAMN it. UNC 72, Clemson 67.

5:54, second half: Danny Green fouls out. The ACC officiating -- both for and against us, for and against everyone -- has been appalling bad this year. Terrible. Cheap calls or no calls, nothing in between, and in the off-season, A. and I are buying all the officials rule books. There'll be a quiz in November next year.

25.2, second half: Sorry, I had to go stand on the porch for a while so I wouldn't yell at the TV. UNC 83, Clemson 77, Ty Lawson with one free throw remaining. Makes the second. UNC 84, Clemson 77.

19.0, second half: Clemson drops a lay-up and Ty Lawson commits a stupid, stupid fucking foul. STUPID FOUL.

16.8, second half: Dumbass foul on Tyler. Worst called game I've seen in ages. FUCK.

2.2 second half: For the love of all that is good and holy, QT, do not foul the three point shooter.

And scene: UNC 86, Clemson 81. 17th ACC tournament title for the Heels, 2nd for Roy. Bring on the East Region. Go Heels.

"Work on your shot by shooting less."

Digger & Bobby are delightful together, but Bobby with the full Game Day crew is seriously the best thing that's happened to me in forever. Rece is loling! Digger is wearing an ugly tie! Hubert is terrified of Coach Knight! Jay is losing his hair! Bobby is stumping for Georgetown! AMAZING.

Tie Watch #33: Inoffensive. Also, the entire outfit matches today, shep. notes, which it did not yesterday.


I'd have liveblogged Clemson/BC last night, except it sucked. But we're back for Carolina/Va Tech, and we'll be here all day.

19:50, first half: Aaaand we start the game with an offensive foul on Tyler. AWESOME!

19:08, first half: If Marcus is going to take it hard to AD Vassallo, that's a good sign -- dropped a short jumper over Vassallo.

18:11, first half: Great screening for a three pointer from the corner for Wayne.

17:56, first half: Tyler has his eyes up and his hands out today; he's stolen the ball twice already. But of course then Ty chucks the ball across the court for a turnover before we can take advantage of the Tyler steal. The key to this game is more steals than dumb turnovers.

14:01, first half: When Tyler takes his first free throws early, I feel better about things.

13:37, first half: Marcus Ginyard, that wasn't a charge, that was a tackle.

13:08, first half: The only good part of Wayne Ellington possibly being hurt is that the Duke has his leg in Surry Wood's lap. LOL.

11:44, first half: Danny Green drives, drops a bucket, and gets fouled. This game is going to be decided at the free throw line.

9:56, first half: This decision that the Heels seem to have made to play no defense and foul a lot when we get out-rebounded, it is not an awesome decision. Thank God for missed free throws.

9:44, first half: I dislike this court-level camera angle. It makes me queasy.

9:20, first half: With 5 on the shot clock, Ty Lawson drains a three-pointer, backpedals, and pulls down his shorts. PULL UP YOUR SHORTS, L'IL BRUDDER, THEY WILL FALL DOWN.

8:07, first half: I know we are capable of playing defense. So how come we're not playing defense today?

7:26, first half: Deron Washington buries a three and puts Carolina down 8. VT 29, UNC 21.

6:20, first half: Danny Green makes the three-point magic happen. VT 29, UNC 24.

5:44, first half: Mike Copeland makes some 2 point magic happen, and then fouls a dude. Plus-minus stands at zero, score stands at VT 29, UNC 26.

5:27, first half: Tyler Hansbrough always makes magic happen, but then he doesn't block out. VT 32, UNC 28.

3:11, first half: Tyler drops two free throws to tie the game for the first time in a million years. Then somebody for Virginia Tech chucks in a basket without looking. Then Wayne makes a layup. I can't keep up with this crap. VT 36, UNC 36.

1:30, first half: AD Vassallo is killing us. I don't understand why Marcus isn't guarding him.

Halftime: VT 38, UNC 38. It could be a hell of a lot worse than it is. New game in the second half. I have faith (and, thanks to shep., still most of my hair).

18:48, second half: Second and third chance shots don't help us when we don't make them.

12:56, second half: Put it in Tyler's hands, and we can win this game. Keep playing like flailing morons, and we will go home.

5:18, second half: "For the Tar Heels cannot live with prosperity." DAMN RIGHT, ANNOUNCERS. We force a turnover, we turn it over before we score. Jesus.

But as I just noted to shep.: we lost in the ACC semis in '05. We dropped the championship game in '93. I am remaining calm. Calm, and drunk.

3:11, second half: Dear Wayne: that three pointer was lovely. Thank you. I shall consider it my birthday present. Love and kisses, dex.

2:45, second half: Dear Wayne: I take that nice letter back. What the hell kind of motherfucking bullshit is mouthing off to Deron in front of a referee? You, sir, are fired. No love, dex.

2:38, second half: Beautiful put-back by Tyler on Wayne's missed free-throw. And Wayne matches a three. And I go put more amaretto in my drink.

Final: UNC 68, VT 66. HOLY CRAP WE DID NOT DESERVE THAT. Also: that's what you expect from a Player of the Year. Hell, yes. That shot, and the stupidest running motion in the world.

"You have to explain what a moving screen is, okay."

For the record, before I live blog this shenanigan, Digger Phelps & Bobby Knight together with Rece Davis are one of the most delightful things that has ever happened to television. Bobby's lasted two whole days without cursing! It's a miracle.


So, live blog. I have a beer, I have some fruit, it's time for basketball.

Tie Watch #32: It's brown paisley. With a blue shirt. Roy, I'm not sure that's a valid fashion choice.

17:32, first half: Until Toney Douglas just dropped that three-pointer (FSU's first basket of the game, made when Lawson lost his defensive assignment, which always worries me; I'm still not sure Ty is 100%), the most interesting thing that had happened in this game was our at-home discussion of Deon Thompson's socks. We approve of them.

16:07, first half: A turnover by the Carolina guards leading to a FSU fast break basket to take the lead at 7-6, and then Deon getting trapped under the basket for another turnover. Neither is a good sign, but neither is a bad sign, either. TV timeout; time to reclaim the pace for Carolina.

14:49, first half: A beautiful kick-out pass from Deon Thompson (who has stepped up lately, which I approve of, as well as his socks) to Wayne Ellington for a three. FSU 11, UNC 9.

14:03, first half: The thing about Wayne Ellington, which I often forget, is that he's almost as quick in the open court as Ty Lawson. A nice steal, good "guard hands" as Mike Patrick likes to say, and a stupid foul on the layup by FSU. Two free throws tie it, UNC 11, FSU 11.

13:11, first half: I think the inside game is key to this game -- draw the fouls on Echefu and Reid early, and then pound it inside to Tyler, Deon and Alex when it's opened up a little. The pass to Alex -- made basket, plus one free throw -- is a good example of that. UNC 16, FSU 14.

12:46, first half: The dribble penetration -- oh, how I hate that phrase -- of FSU is killing us. The defensive stops need to happen in the lane, without fouling.

12:16, first half: Tyler's turnaround jumper from almost the free throw line is a thing of beauty. UNC 18, FSU 16.

12:00, first half: They didn't call any fouls in the UNC/Duke game, and I think we've had more in the first half of this game (on both teams) than we had in the entirety of that one.

8:27, first half: Sorry, I got derailed by having to go outside and contemplate the Tar Heel turnovers to this point so I wouldn't have to lie down on the floor. But as of right now, I'm not wild about our play; we're having a very hard time getting the ball inside and we're not taking the rare open outside shot. Of course, I'm not a basketball player -- our cats, including the fat one, both have a better vertical leap than me -- so what the hell do I know?

6:16, first half: I was starting to wonder if we were going to need to pay for a basket, but Marcus drops a three from downtown to give us a three point lead and break a nearly five-minute scoreless drought. UNC 23, FSU 20.

4:07, first half: I wince every time William Graves touches the ball, because I know he's going to drop a long bomb, but when he makes them, I care less. After a Mims three, it's UNC 30, FSU 25.

2:20, first half: FSU can run with the Heels, and we're letting them; our rebounding has been poorer than usual today. Second half goals should include getting more rebounds, and perhaps getting some fouls called on Echefu under the basket, because I swear Danny Green just got mugged, twice. Maybe that's why we can't buy a basket. We don't have wallets any more.

After that TV timeout, Roy's coat is off. I REPEAT, ROY'S COAT IS OFF. I have no idea why Echefu is shooting free throws, but at least he only made one.

17:56, second half: Apparently no one wants to score this half; two minutes in and we're holding steady at the halftime score. UNC 35, FSU 28.

16:04, second half: Tyler Hansbrough breaks a 64-minute free throw drought by picking up the third point in an and-one situation. UNC 39, FSU 30.

14:18, second half: I hate it when Alex Stepheson bricks two free throws in a row. I love it when Tyler goes to the free throw line. It's not rocks fall, everybody dies; it's rocks falls, Tyler Hansbrough shoots free throws.

13:08, second half: Quentin Thomas drives, makes a layup. Tyler Hansbrough has picked up at least two National Player of the Year awards, but QT is my Carolina Player of the Year, no questions asked.

12:27, second half: Carolina forces a shot-clock violation with Marcus Ginyard smothering Toney Douglas. shep. sez: "Let's do it in many different positions, Marcus Ginyard!" in response to Billy Packer talking about Lean Cuisine's versatility. Lean Cuisine and your Charlie Brown head and your swishy little hips, you have played like a champ today, even if your box score line rarely shows it. We salute you.

10:31, second half: An IM conversation upon seeing Deron Washington during a TV timeout:

dex.: DERON WASHINGTON HAS NO HAIRS
dex.: WHERE DID HIS HAIRS GO.
a.: maybe Deron sold his hair to pay for that ridiculous necklace he had on

8:58, second half: We call Ryan Reid "The Puncher". (Which is different from Chris Paul, who I call -- with all affection, I adore Chris Paul -- "The Nut Puncher".) Just picked up his fourth foul. Go inside to Tyler.

8:38, second half: Although frankly, Tyler's getting beat on defense pretty badly today; I don't know if he's tired, or he's just not seeing the cuts, or what. And frankly, when you're Tyler Hansbrough, I feel that you can do whatever you want. You want to come over and eat all our food, Tyler Hansbrough, you're welcome to it.

2:46, second half: Wayne Ellington jumper, beautiful; letting Mims get his own rebound and score, less awesome.

2:22, second half: It really looks like somebody barfed on Roy's neck. Wanda, please burn that tie.

1:20, second half: I always, always want to reach through the TV and pull Ty Lawson's pants up. I worry that he's going to try on them!

16.9 seconds, second half: Marcus Ginyard drops a three at the shot clock buzzer. Roy nearly draws a technical foul for "making a point" about Tyler. Carolina wins, 82-70. I go take a nap in preparation for the Clemson game tonight, which I may also liveblog, for the lolz.

"It's national TV, you shouldn't have worn that shirt."

OH MY GOD, SHUT THE HELL UP, STEVE LAVIN.


I have bedhead and I haven't taken a shower, but I also have beer and cheese. So it's a mixed bag. Coming up, Tie Watch #19, live blog, and the over/under on Gary Williams sweating through his suit coat!

Tie Watch #19: THE RAINBOW TIE IS BACK. I REPEAT, THE RAINBOW TIE IS BACK. SHIELD ALL EYES AND HIDE SMALL CHILDREN.

20:00, first half: What the hell was that violation? I blinked, and the Twerps had the ball.

The color on this broadcast is all weird. Everyone looks fuzzy.

19:29, first half: If Tyler bleeds, I'mma eat a bitch. I'm just saying.

17:28, first half: I can't lie: I love Boom Osby's hair more than just about anything else in the ACC.

I do not love that dunk he just made.

14:25, first half: I know we know how to play defense. I know we can. WHY AREN'T WE? WHERE IS THE RAGE BLACKOUT, ROY?

12:47, first half: TERRIBLE DEFENSE. I might be bald by halftime from ripping my own hair out.

11:29, first half: I seriously worry that Ty Lawson's pants are going to fall right off in a fast break one of these days.

Crowd sounds like they're back in it, which is good for us. I know people think that the Dean Dome is a whine-and-cheese crowd, but when the place gets going -- and it can -- it's not as tough as Cameron, but it's tough.

11:08, first half: Beautiful little steal from Alex on the inbounds. Defense is really it this year, we have the offense -- defend.

9:31, first half: How do you get home-jobbed at home, Christ.

8:46, first half: GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH US THIS WEEK.

6:46, first half: I have tried long and hard not to complain about ACC officiating, because it is a really hard job; I say that in all honesty. It is a sucky, awful job, with Coach K in one ear and Roy in your other, but for fuck's sake, we are getting screwed with our goddamned pants on today, and I do not understand why.

6:04, first half: Tyler makes his first field goal. Holy fuck.

4:07, first half: So you can call ticky-tacky touch fouls on us all day, and when Wayne gets smacked in the face, it's all-ball? AWESOME, OFFICIATING CREW, AWESOME.

3:05, first half: We cannot hold on to the damn ball today. It's liked somebody oiled our HANDS.

2:27, first half: FINALLY a goddamned offensive foul. CHRIST.

Halftime: My only comment on our performance thus far was a very loud burp. There's really nothing fucking else to say.

I've pretty much just thrown up my hands; I don't know who this team is, I don't know what they think they're doing out there. We've survived this earlier this year, we have, but -- god damn if I don't think we need a loss. I hate losing, it makes me crazy, but that damned 0 is sitting there and laughing at us, and this team -- this team playing right now, right this minute -- needs to get blown the hell out. They don't deserve a number one ranking. They don't deserve a ranking at all.

It was never an if we lost; it was a when. We should be 1-3 in the ACC right now. We're 3-1. I call that goddamned lucky.

"I think we've sunk to a new low."

So yesterday, while attempting to climb over a table, The Roy got tangled in a cord for some piece of electronic equipment and fell down and smashed his head open; he later blamed it on all the "dadgum memorabilia" in his "too small" office. There are so many jokes here, you guys, I don't even know where to start.

Today we face The Amazing Red Blazer of Blindingness at home; I am going to attempt to live blog sans booze, so I hope it's not as close as Clemson. As our dear friend J. said to her husband this week, "I don't think shep. will forgive you if dex. dies of alcohol poisoning." Plus I forgot to buy beer.

So here we are, then. 16-0, facing down 15 straight ACC games. If there was ever a time to cultivate my zen, it's now.

Official Tie Watch #17: Inoffensive. We haven't seen the rainbow tie in a while! I wonder if Wanda burned it, finally.

19:40, first half: Marcus Ginyard, that was not awesome.

19:12, first half: Wayne Ellington, that was awesome.

18:32, first half: Tyler missing free throws always weirds me out.

Also, the Roy showing off his stitches on national TV makes us laugh and laugh. He's like a little kid with battle scars. Or maybe Tyler accidentally tried to eat Roy's brains!

17:47, first half: Dear Len and Mike: Alex Stepheson had a family emergency; Deon has been here the whole time. P.S. Thank you for the apology.

17:08, first half: Well, the news that writhing around on the floor is no longer a travel is good news for Tyler. And Ty. And pretty much everybody on this team. They writhe a lot.

15:06, first half: That pass. I just had a genuine moment where I wanted to do QT. Those are few and far between!

13:37, first half:

dex.: That's not the shirt you hate.
shep.: It's one of them.

13:28, first half: There's pretty much nothing in the world that makes me happier than forcing a shot clock violation. Unless it involves naked dudes in my bed, really.

12:30, first half:

shep.: "Coach! Coach! We tried real hard, we all helped! Did you see, coach? Did you see?"

AND YET: TIP DRILL, NO BASKET. (But Danny does get free throws, the first of which he PROMPTLY MISSES.)

10:30, first half: Beautiful defense, forcing a turnover, plus a fast-break basket and a free throw. Good boys.

9:52, first half: Sidney, you're not supposed to say that on TV.

In a discussion of how Bobby Frasor is going to be a good coach, given his fondness for sitting next to Roy during games:
dex.: [Bobby]'s not allowed to sit next to Roy anymore, though. He's got to sit at the end of the bench. I hope he's making friends with Patrick Moody.
shep.: I've resigned myself to the fact that my wedding is going to be full of wretches.

shep.: I love Roy's interpretive dance.

7:05, first half:

Len Elmore: If it weren't for bad luck, State would have no luck.

LEN. THAT ISN'T VERY NICE.

6:58, first half: I think Sidney's about to stroke out. Poor Sidney.

6:39, first half: Tyler Hansbrough just had an assist. :D :D :D


HE HAS EIGHT REBOUNDS, JESUS.

2:48, first half:

Mike Patrick: If Thomas is scoring, then it's over, isn't it?

OH, SNAP, MIKE PATRICK.

2:13, first half: SHARKS THAT SMELL BLOOD.

shep.: CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP.
dex.: NOM NOM NOM WOLFPACK.

Halftime:

shep.: You feel comfortable with a 30 point lead?
dex.: Yes. Mostly.

I am hurting for State right now; I mean, we have played exquisite defense, best all year, and it's been unbelievably fun to watch, but oh, State. I wanted to win, but I wanted a good game.

10:00, second half: What can you really say about a second half that followed that kind of first half? Not much. We're playing good defense, though not as good as the first half; we're shooting well, though not as well as the first half. It's just ... you know. What is there to say?

"do you know what the paulus is majoring in? your paulus, i mean."

If it isn't already clear, shep. is the calm, placid watcher in this house, and I am the neurotic, flailing mess. I come by this honestly, though: my mother is also a neurotic, flailing mess, and I learned how to watch Carolina basketball from her. I'm a doomsayer, a worst-case-scenario maven, the one in the room who thinks that we're about to go 0-17 in the ACC, despite the fact that we only have 16 games scheduled this year. I can't help it. Something could always go wrong! Seasons rarely end as happily as I want them to! THERE ARE A LOT OF WHAT IFS, HERE.

I keep trying to drink enough to make me zen, except then I end up posting live blogs exhorting Mormons to "stop doing things!!!!!", which isn't the best blogging material in the world.

Nevertheless: I am reasonably well-lubricated with white wine, and I have shouted out some anxieties at Greg Paulus, and we are ready to watch Carolina, sans Bobby Frasor and Alex Stepheson, go to Death Valley to face a very, very good Clemson team. Should the live blog cease midway through the first half, please assume that I have fallen over dead, and send condolences to shep. as appropriate.

Tie Watch #15: I think it's one of the paisley ones. As long as it's not the rainbow one, Jesus. (It should also be noted that this morning, on Inside Carolina Basketball With Roy Williams, The Roy was wearing the ugliest sweater in the history of the universe. This sweater would have given epileptics seizures. Wanda, how could you let him out like that?)

19:30, first half: Dude, I think that Clemson dude traveled. AWESOME.

18:35, first half: Wayne Ellington, thank you for being awesome.

17:22, first half: "He's always strong." YES, THANK YOU, TYLER HANSBROUGH IS VERY STRONG.

17:12, first half:

dex.: ACK. ACK. SHEP. *points at Oliver Purnell*
shep.: That is a ... very orange coat. I still think the Roy needs a Carolina blue coat. It would be ugly, but it would be awesome.

I think this is going to be a brutal game. Lots of fouls.

16:15, first half: Whoever's posting up against Tyler -- Booker? -- is dropping his goddamned shoulder and shuffling through the frigging paint every time he touches the ball. And it's too early for me to have a rage blackout.

(I swear I am not one of those fans who thinks her team is constantly getting home-jobbed, I really am not. I just think we're constantly getting home-jobbed in Clemson, every damn year. I still blame Rick Barnes for this, too, in case you were interested.)

14:49, first half: Shot clock violation. That's a good sign for our defense.

Roy, that tie isn't in and of itself offensive -- but with that shirt, uh, no.

14:11, first half: Booker is pushing the paint around, god damn it.

11:55, first half:

a.: at Clemson, everyone gets home-jobbed
dex.: my eyes are getting home-jobbed by oliver purnell's COAT

11:12, first half: BOOKER JUST RAN OVER DANNY GREEN, AND I AM ABOUT TO START DRINKING WINE FROM THE BOTTLE.

10:05, first half: I totally just broke our corkscrew off in a new bottle of wine. shep.: "Perhaps that is for the best for you right now." a.: "if this game keeps up you are going to need more something."

dex.: "I HAVE BEER."

8:35, first half: Great tap-out by Tyler to Ty. Good boys. I like that motion, that speed. Our defense hasn't been bad this game, but we need to stop fouling. The bench isn't deep enough.

8:06, first half: Random Announcer, "I'm winded calling this game!"

6:00, first half:

dex.: You just missed the best news about Bobby Frasor.
shep.: Did he announce our engagement on national TV?

5:00, first half: THAT WAS NOT OKAY, QUENTIN THOMAS. NOT OKAY AT ALL.

3:37, first half: MIKE COPELAND. AWESOME.

3:02, first half: I never thought I'd saw this ... but these announcers make me miss Dick Vitale.

2:22, first half: Danny Green is a bad ass new god.

0:41.8, first half: GODDAMN IT, DEON.

Halftime: I'm a little more zen than I thought I'd be, but still not enough. Every time we start to pull away, someone (QUENTIN THOMAS) does something stupid. Over/under on Roy's rage blackout at halftime?

16:27, second half: I AM ZEN -- THANK YOU, WANYE -- LIKE AN OCEAN.

14:00, second half: Wayne Ellington is the only reason I haven't drowned myself in the washing machine.

13:38, second half: Seriously, Clemson, don't put your junk on Tyler Hansbrough. It might not be there when you get back up.

The Roy is making a face, Jesus.

5:34, second half: Okay, I can't even.

We're getting so frigging home-jobbed. Up yours, Clemson, you dumb jerks.

1:50, second half:

shep.: I'm glad to see him washing it off, he usually just sticks it back in there!

0:24.1, second half: If we go to overtime, I'm out of beer.

0.00.4, overtime:

dex.: i am breathing deep
dex.: i am zen
a.: told you
dex.: I AM ZEN
dex.: THE DUKE IS ZEN
dex.: EVERYONE IS ZEN
dex.: I AM THE ONLY DRUNK ONE, THOUGH

OH JESUS HOLY CRAP THANK GOD.

"Screw you guys!"

Let's just get this out there right now: Maryland losing to Ohio University (not even THE Ohio State University!) and BC losing to UMass do not signal the weakening of the ACC, the freezing over of hell, and the coming of the apocalypse.

I mean, it's not a good sign for the Maryland basketball team this year, frankly, but it doesn't mean that the ACC is crumbling, crumbling all around us.

Really.

I swear.

It doesn't.

Come down off the ledge now, John Swofford. Please.

The first thing you need to remember is that, in the case of BC, UMass specifically and the Atlantic-10 in general were once actually national powers. Temple at the height of John Chaney's brilliance; Xavier off and on for years and years; UMass in the days of (it kills me to give him props, but) John Calipari and Marcus Camby. (Sure, UMass's trip to the Final Four was invalidated because it turned out that Camby took money from agents, but that's really neither here nor there nor relevant to talent.) UMass beat a very solid Syracuse team in the Carrier Dome. I wasn't surprised that BC -- a team that lost its heart, soul, and leading scorer when Jared Dudley left -- collapsed in the face of a fierce, underrated UMass team. You mean you were? It's an upset, I suppose, major conference losing to mid-major conference, but BC isn't supposed to be great this year anyway. UMass may be up-swinging again, finally recovering from the mess that Calipari left there. And I say good for them if that's the case.

The second thing you need to remember is this: welcome to the brave new world of Parity & The Internets. (That's be a pretty good band name. If I ever start a girl punk band, I shall call it Parity & The Internets. I cannot play an instrument, but should I learn, that is.)

Here's where I out myself: I spent three years, between my BA and my MS, working for a private company that profiled student-athletes and marketed them to college coaches, in pretty much any sport you can imagine. (We worked with fencers. And equestrians. Only two or three of each, though, before we realized we couldn't made it work, which is really not relevant to this story.) As odd as that sounds, we didn't actually violate any NCAA rules in what we did; coaches have thousands of rules about contacting athletes, but there aren't actually any rules about athletes contacting coaches. So what my company did was put good athletes -- not blue chippers, not All-Americans (well, not often; although I have met and drunk with some current NBA players), but solid All-State athletes who couldn't play for the big schools because of size or talent or whatever -- in touch with coaches at smaller schools, where the students might get a free education and the coaches might get a good addition to their team. We worked with coaches from D1 down to NAIA and JCs, and what we did was, essentially, level the playing field for coaches with very small recruiting budgets.

Revenue sports (ie, sports that make the university active profit; football, men's basketball and women's basketball at BCS schools are always rev sports, and almost nothing else ever is, though sometimes you'll have an outlier at a school where the program's exceptional; women's soccer is a rev sport at Carolina, because of all the titles) at Big D1 schools have recruiting budgets that mean they can afford to travel, to see every kid they want to. Rev sports at smaller D1 schools and definitely at D2, D3, NAIA schools can't afford that. (Yes, I know D3 schools can't offer athletic scholarships; they can say, we want you and we will find money for you if you come here and play on our team. It's not an athletic scholarship, it sucks for non-athletes, it's what happens whether or not you think it sucks.) Non-rev sports at any school can hardly afford to travel, quite frankly.

The Internets changed that, because we could send unknown gems of kids from Arizona (kids who weren't being recruited by anyone) to coaches in Michigan (who couldn't afford to recruit outside of Michigan before the Internet) and improve their basketball (soccer, softball, swimming) teams 150% immediately. We could get kids who weren't being recruited, but should have been, in front of coaches who had $6000 for a whole year and that includes travel, and we could get coaches players they wouldn't have heard of, otherwise. We could send All-State swimmers to Wisconsin (one of my favorite kids I ever worked with; I worked primarily in Sales and Marketing by the end, not with the athletes, but this swimmer from California, a girl we'll call H., who's got to be a senior at UW now, was one of the few kids I hung onto from the period of time at the beginning when we all did everything) and there are still a few D1 basketball players I see on TV on a regular basis, who I can look at and grin and think, I remember when you were 6'9" and weighed 150 pounds soaking wet and were so shy you wouldn't say more than four words to me at a time, and all you wanted to do was get Bruce Weber or Bill Self or Roy Williams to pay attention to you, because we got the coach who didn't take a second look at this kid, who's going to be an All-Conference center in a major conference this year, to take a third look.

We did that with the internet and a massive database and a lot of phone calls. We did it without violating any NCAA regulations or by-laws. I was unhappy with a lot of things at my company when I left, but what I was doing, what the company was doing, was never one. I believed in the work and I believed in the kids and I believed in the success stories we got to see.

There's ways and ways of recruiting these days, and the small schools are starting to compete with the big schools. Look at this year's football season: parity. Anybody can beat anybody on any given day.

Parity's coming for college basketball, too. That's all this means. I may think there are problems with the coaching system that's in place right now, and I do, especially when it comes to patience with coaches, but that's not the same as thinking the whole product and program is flawed. I don't think the whole thing is flawed; I think it's changing, but not necessarily for the worse (except in the case of the ACC logo, gosh-darned friggin' BC). There's nothing wrong with the ACC, per se, that isn't already a root problem with the Maryland basketball team specifically. They might not be very good this year, but that's not the ACC's problem -- that's Gary Williams' problem. He's not using the internet, metaphorically speaking, and parity's coming for him because he's gotten hammered on recruiting the last couple of years. There will always be majors, mid-majors, and minors -- there will always be a play-in game and a team that doesn't even really go to the Dance. The NIT will continue to be the Not Invited Tournament. But there's a corner that's being turned in recruiting, and it's about the Internet, and it's about parity.

Ohio University just stuck that lesson to Maryland early, is all.

(All opinions in this post reflect my opinions only; I will back up with facts as best I can without violating my non-compete and my non-disclosure agreements, because for all my problems at the end, I still respect my company; shep. cannot be blamed for my outrageous opinions at all.)

Is it basketball yet?

Every year, I put together my own pre-season ACC final standings; last year, I picked Virginia to finish third amongst much pointing and laughing, and then they tied Carolina for 1st. So sometimes I'm smarter than the experts. But probably not this year -- aside from Carolina, I really don't know what to make of this year's ACC. This is all a wild shot in the dark.


1. Carolina. What? We return three starters, including the near-consensus pre-season National Player of the Year, 5 bench players who got solid minutes last year, and Quentin Thomas. The outside shooting remains a question -- the Duke had the best percentage on the team last year but he often faded when he should have shone -- but I'm excited to see what Deon and Tyler can do inside (I think Deon's style of play is more suited to Tyler's than Brandan's was) and I'm 100% on board the Ty Lawson train.

2. NC State. Only question mark is at point guard. They find somebody to fill Atsur's shoes, they could win the ACC this year instead of just playing season spoiler.

3. Clemson. Oliver Purnell is coming for the big guns in the ACC, and this might be the year he shows everybody else who's boss. The talent's there, but can they hold up in ACC season? Last year's 17-0 start, followed by their grand collapse in conference, is on lots of people's minds.

4. Duke. Most pre-season guides pick them higher. DeMarcus is hurt, Brian Zoubek is hurt, Greg Paulus is a weenie, and the freshman class is great on paper -- but so was last year's Duke freshman class, and we all know how that ended. Also, I always pick Duke low, because I am a bitch like that. A. loves me anyway.

5. Virginia. Again, I say what? Sean Singletary is on a mission from God.

6. Maryland. This Maryland team baffles me. I really don't know where to put them -- could be higher, could be a complete collapse and a whole hell of a lot lower.

7. Georgia Tech. Paul Hewitt is lucky: he has an AD who believes in him, and is willing to be patient. A smart, talented young team that beat Carolina last year. Like Maryland, could go up or down a couple of spots.

8. Virginia Tech. Deron Washington's tights will only take you so far.

9. Boston College. The talent's there, but they lost all their heart to the draft and counterfeiting schemes, and I love Tyrese Rice as much as the next Boston College hater, but, friends, I knew Jared Dudley (to hate on), and Ty Rice is no Jared Dudley.

10. Florida State. What the fuck ever. Who cares about Florida State? Anybody? Yeah, me neither. I keep forgetting that Pat Kennedy doesn't coach them anymore, and he's been gone for ten years! (Huh. Wikipedia tells me that Mr. Kennedy is now coaching at the university of my hometown, the grand old Towson University of the CAA. That's a step down, Mr. Kennedy.)

11. Wake Forest. A team that's been reeling for the last two years doesn't add much talent and loses its coach in the off-season. Dino Gaudio has his work cut out for him, and this Wake team is young and probably freaked as all shit right now. Next year, maybe, but this year it's another bad year for the Deacs.

12. Miami. Poor Miami. Why did you guys want to be in the ACC, again?