If it isn't already clear, shep. is the calm, placid watcher in this house, and I am the neurotic, flailing mess. I come by this honestly, though: my mother is also a neurotic, flailing mess, and I learned how to watch Carolina basketball from her. I'm a doomsayer, a worst-case-scenario maven, the one in the room who thinks that we're about to go 0-17 in the ACC, despite the fact that we only have 16 games scheduled this year. I can't help it. Something could always go wrong! Seasons rarely end as happily as I want them to! THERE ARE A LOT OF WHAT IFS, HERE.
I keep trying to drink enough to make me zen, except then I end up posting live blogs exhorting Mormons to "stop doing things!!!!!", which isn't the best blogging material in the world.
Nevertheless: I am reasonably well-lubricated with white wine, and I have shouted out some anxieties at Greg Paulus, and we are ready to watch Carolina, sans Bobby Frasor and Alex Stepheson, go to Death Valley to face a very, very good Clemson team. Should the live blog cease midway through the first half, please assume that I have fallen over dead, and send condolences to shep. as appropriate.
Tie Watch #15: I think it's one of the paisley ones. As long as it's not the rainbow one, Jesus. (It should also be noted that this morning, on Inside Carolina Basketball With Roy Williams, The Roy was wearing the ugliest sweater in the history of the universe. This sweater would have given epileptics seizures. Wanda, how could you let him out like that?)
19:30, first half: Dude, I think that Clemson dude traveled. AWESOME.
18:35, first half: Wayne Ellington, thank you for being awesome.
17:22, first half: "He's always strong." YES, THANK YOU, TYLER HANSBROUGH IS VERY STRONG.
17:12, first half:
dex.: ACK. ACK. SHEP. *points at Oliver Purnell*
shep.: That is a ... very orange coat. I still think the Roy needs a Carolina blue coat. It would be ugly, but it would be awesome.
I think this is going to be a brutal game. Lots of fouls.
16:15, first half: Whoever's posting up against Tyler -- Booker? -- is dropping his goddamned shoulder and shuffling through the frigging paint every time he touches the ball. And it's too early for me to have a rage blackout.
(I swear I am not one of those fans who thinks her team is constantly getting home-jobbed, I really am not. I just think we're constantly getting home-jobbed in Clemson, every damn year. I still blame Rick Barnes for this, too, in case you were interested.)
14:49, first half: Shot clock violation. That's a good sign for our defense.
Roy, that tie isn't in and of itself offensive -- but with that shirt, uh, no.
14:11, first half: Booker is pushing the paint around, god damn it.
11:55, first half:
a.: at Clemson, everyone gets home-jobbed
dex.: my eyes are getting home-jobbed by oliver purnell's COAT
11:12, first half: BOOKER JUST RAN OVER DANNY GREEN, AND I AM ABOUT TO START DRINKING WINE FROM THE BOTTLE.
10:05, first half: I totally just broke our corkscrew off in a new bottle of wine. shep.: "Perhaps that is for the best for you right now." a.: "if this game keeps up you are going to need more something."
dex.: "I HAVE BEER."
8:35, first half: Great tap-out by Tyler to Ty. Good boys. I like that motion, that speed. Our defense hasn't been bad this game, but we need to stop fouling. The bench isn't deep enough.
8:06, first half: Random Announcer, "I'm winded calling this game!"
6:00, first half:
dex.: You just missed the best news about Bobby Frasor.
shep.: Did he announce our engagement on national TV?
5:00, first half: THAT WAS NOT OKAY, QUENTIN THOMAS. NOT OKAY AT ALL.
3:37, first half: MIKE COPELAND. AWESOME.
3:02, first half: I never thought I'd saw this ... but these announcers make me miss Dick Vitale.
2:22, first half: Danny Green is a bad ass new god.
0:41.8, first half: GODDAMN IT, DEON.
Halftime: I'm a little more zen than I thought I'd be, but still not enough. Every time we start to pull away, someone (QUENTIN THOMAS) does something stupid. Over/under on Roy's rage blackout at halftime?
16:27, second half: I AM ZEN -- THANK YOU, WANYE -- LIKE AN OCEAN.
14:00, second half: Wayne Ellington is the only reason I haven't drowned myself in the washing machine.
13:38, second half: Seriously, Clemson, don't put your junk on Tyler Hansbrough. It might not be there when you get back up.
The Roy is making a face, Jesus.
5:34, second half: Okay, I can't even.
We're getting so frigging home-jobbed. Up yours, Clemson, you dumb jerks.
1:50, second half:
shep.: I'm glad to see him washing it off, he usually just sticks it back in there!
0:24.1, second half: If we go to overtime, I'm out of beer.
0.00.4, overtime:
dex.: i am breathing deep
dex.: i am zen
a.: told you
dex.: I AM ZEN
dex.: THE DUKE IS ZEN
dex.: EVERYONE IS ZEN
dex.: I AM THE ONLY DRUNK ONE, THOUGH
OH JESUS HOLY CRAP THANK GOD.
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3 comments:
My Paulus is apparently majoring playing better coming off the bench. What the filly heck? Did he spend his holiday break w/ Scheyer or something?
And there are totally 17 ACC games: 16 plus at least one tourney game. (-;
thank god that is finally over. now i can go to the bathroom and then off to bed.
Can I just say that not having FSN and being forced to "watch" the end of the game on NCAAsports.com was 100% nervewracking, because they don't update as often as I like, and I don't understand everything that's happening if they just use the words, and those last 45 seconds had me clutching at my heart.
Dear The Duke,
You are my savior. God gave you that 3-pointer because he did not want me to die this young.
<3, m
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