"Work on your shot by shooting less."

Digger & Bobby are delightful together, but Bobby with the full Game Day crew is seriously the best thing that's happened to me in forever. Rece is loling! Digger is wearing an ugly tie! Hubert is terrified of Coach Knight! Jay is losing his hair! Bobby is stumping for Georgetown! AMAZING.

Tie Watch #33: Inoffensive. Also, the entire outfit matches today, shep. notes, which it did not yesterday.


I'd have liveblogged Clemson/BC last night, except it sucked. But we're back for Carolina/Va Tech, and we'll be here all day.

19:50, first half: Aaaand we start the game with an offensive foul on Tyler. AWESOME!

19:08, first half: If Marcus is going to take it hard to AD Vassallo, that's a good sign -- dropped a short jumper over Vassallo.

18:11, first half: Great screening for a three pointer from the corner for Wayne.

17:56, first half: Tyler has his eyes up and his hands out today; he's stolen the ball twice already. But of course then Ty chucks the ball across the court for a turnover before we can take advantage of the Tyler steal. The key to this game is more steals than dumb turnovers.

14:01, first half: When Tyler takes his first free throws early, I feel better about things.

13:37, first half: Marcus Ginyard, that wasn't a charge, that was a tackle.

13:08, first half: The only good part of Wayne Ellington possibly being hurt is that the Duke has his leg in Surry Wood's lap. LOL.

11:44, first half: Danny Green drives, drops a bucket, and gets fouled. This game is going to be decided at the free throw line.

9:56, first half: This decision that the Heels seem to have made to play no defense and foul a lot when we get out-rebounded, it is not an awesome decision. Thank God for missed free throws.

9:44, first half: I dislike this court-level camera angle. It makes me queasy.

9:20, first half: With 5 on the shot clock, Ty Lawson drains a three-pointer, backpedals, and pulls down his shorts. PULL UP YOUR SHORTS, L'IL BRUDDER, THEY WILL FALL DOWN.

8:07, first half: I know we are capable of playing defense. So how come we're not playing defense today?

7:26, first half: Deron Washington buries a three and puts Carolina down 8. VT 29, UNC 21.

6:20, first half: Danny Green makes the three-point magic happen. VT 29, UNC 24.

5:44, first half: Mike Copeland makes some 2 point magic happen, and then fouls a dude. Plus-minus stands at zero, score stands at VT 29, UNC 26.

5:27, first half: Tyler Hansbrough always makes magic happen, but then he doesn't block out. VT 32, UNC 28.

3:11, first half: Tyler drops two free throws to tie the game for the first time in a million years. Then somebody for Virginia Tech chucks in a basket without looking. Then Wayne makes a layup. I can't keep up with this crap. VT 36, UNC 36.

1:30, first half: AD Vassallo is killing us. I don't understand why Marcus isn't guarding him.

Halftime: VT 38, UNC 38. It could be a hell of a lot worse than it is. New game in the second half. I have faith (and, thanks to shep., still most of my hair).

18:48, second half: Second and third chance shots don't help us when we don't make them.

12:56, second half: Put it in Tyler's hands, and we can win this game. Keep playing like flailing morons, and we will go home.

5:18, second half: "For the Tar Heels cannot live with prosperity." DAMN RIGHT, ANNOUNCERS. We force a turnover, we turn it over before we score. Jesus.

But as I just noted to shep.: we lost in the ACC semis in '05. We dropped the championship game in '93. I am remaining calm. Calm, and drunk.

3:11, second half: Dear Wayne: that three pointer was lovely. Thank you. I shall consider it my birthday present. Love and kisses, dex.

2:45, second half: Dear Wayne: I take that nice letter back. What the hell kind of motherfucking bullshit is mouthing off to Deron in front of a referee? You, sir, are fired. No love, dex.

2:38, second half: Beautiful put-back by Tyler on Wayne's missed free-throw. And Wayne matches a three. And I go put more amaretto in my drink.

Final: UNC 68, VT 66. HOLY CRAP WE DID NOT DESERVE THAT. Also: that's what you expect from a Player of the Year. Hell, yes. That shot, and the stupidest running motion in the world.

"the thought of your sister on a date with the paulus is amazingly funny."

This is the greatest physical embodiment of what shep. and I call THE FACE. "Quick, come back, Roy's making THE FACE again!" Yes, I took a picture of our TV. It was necessary. THE FACE. I make it all the time, especially when Danny Green is turning the ball over.


Speaking of, I saw both Danny Green and Second Greatest Enemy Of Our Apartment TJ Yates (the first is The Paulus, Being The Duke Paulus Who Flops, aka That Boy) on Franklin Street today. Danny Green was tall, and hot, and six inches from me. TJ was eating a hamburger at Sutton's and I didn't punch him. When shep. finally sucker punches TJ, I want it to be a surprise!

"The game is over, and there was way too much extracurricular activity."

No serious live-blog tonight; we're bad bloggers, I know, but we're both getting sick and I need to mostly just lie on the floor drinking tea spiked with Jack Daniels and declaring my love for Jay Bilas.


I can't lie, I very much enjoyed all aspects of the Duke/FSU game tonight, but I especially loved Greg Paulus punching a dude in a face mask in the, well, face mask. Shades of Greg Oden! Only, as shep. said, about twenty inches shorter.

"Deron Washington should buy some orange tights."

I seem to be the only person in the blogosphere who read the news about Billy Donovan's bad back affecting his ability to coach [FanHouse] and immediately thought of Duke and the 1995 season. Granted, Duke probably wouldn't have been as big a disaster if they had had Coach K on the sidelines, but it strikes me as an oddly convenient excuse for a Florida team that's defending two national titles but isn't expected to be particularly good.

I'm not blaming Coach K for what happened to Duke that year -- though I think he deserves some of the blame, and it shouldn't all fall on Pete Gaudet, in terms of record or otherwise -- and I wouldn't necessarily blame Donovan for anything and everything that happens to Florida while he's not on the sidelines, if that comes down. I just couldn't help but see the similarities, ten years apart, is all.

I might be the only one in the blogosphere, but I'm not the only one in the world -- I talked to my Dad last night, and I said, "Hey, Dad, I read today that Billy Donovan's having back problems that might keep him from coaching some this season," and before I could even ask him what it reminded him of, he said, "Ah, shades of Durham, 1995 in Gainesville this year, huh?"

My dad is pretty awesome, it's true.


Unrelatedly: it's pretty well-known fact amongst my real life sports-watching compatriots that I hate the new ACC; I resent the loss of the double round robin in basketball season viciously and I can't quite summon up the energy to give a shit about the football championship game, but even more than I hate the new ACC, I hate Boston College. That's an old hate. That's a hate that goes back to 1994, when they upset Carolina in the tournament, because the basketball team was thugs then and are mostly thugs now, though Al Skinner's tamed them a little bit. The point is: I hate BC, BC sucks, and last night I rooted desperately for Virginia Tech, despite my loathing for the new ACC, because I hate BC even more, and VT shit the bed in the last four minutes and I'm done with that, with them, with the new fucking ACC, throw 'em out, return them to the Big East for a full refund, and get rid of Florida State, too, while you're at it, and give me back my beautiful double round robin and three day conference tournament.

And BC still sucks, even if they escaped the bullet [Every Day Should Be Saturday] last night.

"I'm gonna make a post that's going to make A. cry."

TOP FIVE MOST AMAZING THINGS WITNESSED BY WWTHD? AT THE DUKE/VATECH FOOTBALL GAME TODAY:

1. The Duke player who cold-cocked himself on the referee, after play had stopped. The referee didn't budge.
   
2. The time where Duke, punting on a fourth down from their own 4, had their punt blocked and the Hokies ended up with the ball on the Duke 2 with a first down. VaTech ... scored.
   
3. The time where Duke finally had a good kick off return, right to midfield, and then they fumbled the ball and VaTech recovered. Later in that series, VaTech scored.
   
4. The muffed kick-off reception that bounced off a Duke player's pads straight into VaTech's hands. Later in that series, VaTech scored.
   
5. The time Duke finally caught an interception, and then, three downs later, turned around and threw an interception. Later after that interception, VaTech scored.

Honorable mention: The tiny baby Duke fan wearing a cape with a hood and BLUE DEVIL HORNS on it. And the Duke Marching Band playing Fall Out Boy's "Thnks Fr Th Mmrs" at half-time.

WWTHD? would like to salute our dear friend A., the only Duke fan allowed in our house, for buying our tickets and putting up with us making fun of the ineptitude of the Duke football team all game. A. is seriously good people, and she even took photos of the Duke third-string quarterback's butt for us.

In other news, dex. neglected to program the Carolina/SOUTH Carolina game into the TiVo before we left for the Duke/VaTech game this morning -- in her defense, she did a shot of Jack Daniels at 9:45 a.m., so -- which means the TJ Yates Sacks Live Blog will be late (if, you know, it happens at all, we're sort of drunk and blearly already) today, and will not include the times in the first quarter that TJ fell down over his own feet.

I was going to make a joke about Steve Trachsel not making the playoff roster, but, well, Steve Trachsel. The joke writes itself.

We swear we're not dead, we're just busy engaging in the lifestyles of Yankees and Cubs fans during the post-season: that is to say, drinking heavily and ignoring the fact that there's baseball on the TV.


But in much better news: the ACC Basketball Handbook finally dropped and WWTHD? purchased a copy tonight while making a beer run at the Harris Teeter. It's a delightful little book, not in small part because our beloved blogsake is on the cover making a face like a demented walrus. Aside from dex. making appalled noises in the beer aisle over Memphis being ranked #1 over Carolina (John Calipari: #2 on the list of college coaches dex. wouldn't pee on if they were on fire, right after Rick Pitino and right before Rick Barnes), it's a satisfying book. I have reservations about the Tar Heels starting the season ranked so highly, with so many expectations heaped on them -- it's a hell of a lot farther to fall, for one thing -- but damn, it feels good to almost be back to basketball season.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go draw a mustache and goatee on the feature about Greg Paulus. We hear he was demoted from being a captain of the Duke team, and this pleases us immensely.

"is favre at least pretty when he's kicking the chargers' asses?" "for an old dude!"

I forgot to mention it yesterday -- must've been the booze blur that was my afternoon post-TJ Yates' tumbling performance -- but Duke also lost their game yesterday! Against Navy! I'll be sitting here praising allah, thank you very much, because if I had to sit through three hours' of UNC tanking, I'd better receive a Duke loss too.

Apparently Navy even had to bust a little ass to hold the Blue Devils off, because Duke was kicking ass and taking a few names by the half. Twenty-four hours later and I still find it hard to believe I'm living in a world where any team has to actually put their back into beating Duke's football team; maybe it's the amateur fan in me, or probably the Tar Heels fan, but man, I thought all the Midshipmen would have to do is show up!

Mmmmm, the Midshipmen. Mmmmm, military athletes. Mmmmm, Philip Rivers and LaDainian Tomlinson spatting on the sidelines of the San Diego/Green Bay game ... what?

Our friend a., one of a handful of Duke alumni allowed in our apartment, is taking us to see the Virginia Tech at Duke football game in a few weeks. I'm pretty excited; I've never been to the Duke campus before. Much like Mark Wahlberg in "The Shooter", I'm going to scout out camera locations, crowd movement patterns and sniper spots. Unlike Mark Wahlberg, I'll probably be drunk by 100pm, so if I do find any potentially awesome sniper spots, I'll end up talking about them, and possibly getting arrested. Think they'll let me update the blog from jail?

"I punched a Paulus in Durham just to see him cry?"

For the record: we here at What Would Tyler Hansbrough Do? are very sad to hear Duke actually won a football game today! We were hoping Duke would go winless until next year, and get the record-tying 34th loss against Northwestern. Of course, we would celebrate such a momentous event with our dear friend Jack Daniels, present in our home and our hearts for all occasions of this ilk. All occasions, period.

I would write more on this topic, and how dex. and I have become sort of obsessively enamored with this college football season, but we're watching duck-on-cougar action, and well. It's really satisfying, is all.