ESPN's many here-comes-the-basketballs commercials would like me to believe that in November, everybody in the nation is still 0-0 and has an equal chance of making the tournament in the spring, but frankly, by this point in November, half the nation's 0-1 and Miami has no hope of making the tournament anyway, so ESPN is lying to me.
But the Tar Heels are still 0-0, and that's what changes tonight. Yesterday my mother wanted to remind me of the awful slow-down game Davidson brought to the Dean Dome in the fall of 2001, but as that game was 2 coaches and 1 national championship (the Heels) and 2 secondary education degrees (me) ago, I'm trying not to think about it.
It's not that I don't like history, it's just that I try not to let it scare me. (Except in the case of Clemson's Chapel Hill losing streak; sometime they're gonna win here, dear readers, and that always scares me.) There are better things to be scared of this season, after all.
Like Roy Williams' ties.
... Wait, did we ever talk about my feelings on our preseason #1 ranking? I don't think we did. See, I have an intensely troubled -- probably too obsessive -- relationship with a preseason #1 ranking, I cannot lie. On the one hand, I get very upset whenever anyone doesn't vote for us, because clearly the Tar Heels are the best team in the nation. What do you mean, you voted for Memphis? Fie on you! GET OUT OF MY LIVING ROOM. But on the other hand, at the exact same time, I hate being preseason #1. Hate it, hate it, hate it. It puts a target on your back from day, and you know that in the ACC, nobody enjoys it more when they get to beat two teams at once: #1 in the nation, and Carolina. So preseason #1? Makes me furiously nervous, except when I'm busy being insulted that somebody didn't vote for us.
shep. just laughs at me a lot.
Anyway, welcome to the 2007-08 North Carolina Tar Heels basketball season. The Roy Williams Ugly Tie Report brought to you by my Jack Daniels and ginger ale. Everything else is courtesy WWTHD? and the pizza we had to buy ourselves, since y'all didn't come over.
We'll be back with the starting lineup and the liveblog just as soon as SportsCenter stops talking about A.Rod.
18:12, first half: The Official Roy Williams Tie Report, Digest #1: boring but inoffensive.
"There's not much communicating going on, but a lot of balls." Jay Bilas, don't make me come down there and tape your mouth shut.
17:07, first half: Two fouls, two missed shots, and a turnover, Ty Lawson. Congratulations, you're the first player in the 2007-08 regular season to go ON NOTICE.
14:28, first half: I cut people more slack during the preseason games, but miss two free throws in the first half in the regular season, and you go ON NOTICE, Alex Stepheson.
13:37, first half: BOBBY FRASOR, I DON'T EVEN KNOW.
13:10, first half:
Tyler Hansbrough: *misses the rim entirely shooting free throws*
dex.: Did he just ... ?
shep.: Yeah, by like six inches. That was.
dex.: Wow.
approx. 10:00, first half:
dex.: Curry just called your tall boyfriend a motherfucker.
shep.: My tall boyfriend kind of is a motherfucker.
9:52, first half: That's two fouls on QT and three on Ty, and we're going end up with Marc Campbell running the point.
It's too early in the season for a rage blackout, but I can't lie, I'm about to have one.
4:20, first half: MARCUS GINYARD, I SAW YOU FALL DOWN RIGHT THERE.
Practically Half-time: So. Tyler Hansbrough, double-double in the first half; The Duke, 6 for 7 from the field; Bobby Frasor, two big shots, including one 3. Those are my winners for the first half.
My losers? Ty Lawson. Ty Lawson Ty Lawson Ty Lawson I hope you Google your own name and find this, buddy. Suck it up, stop making stupid fouls, and play like we know you can, or I swear, I'm gonna come find you, and it won't be pretty.
17:07, second half: This is not an optimistic second half start, guys.
10:40, second half: You know, my preferred method of watching Carolina basketball -- lying prostrate on the living room floor with a pillow on my head -- is not conducive to live blogging.
8:19, second half:
dex.: I mean, even [Ty Lawson], who looks sort of like a fire hydrant, is hot.
shep.: LOL. Fire hydrant.
3:44, second half: One of the Davidson players just slapped his own teammate in the face, and it was kind of awesome, I cannot lie.
3:07, second half: "Curry misses ... EVERYTHING." Oh, Jay Bilas, how so delightfully wretched?
14.7 seconds, second half: "He has great eyes." In Jay Bilas's head, Tyler Hansbrough loves him. I'm sorry that's not true in real life, Jay. But maybe you and JJ could start a support group.
1.4 seconds, second half: The Roy, planning his rage blackout for 6 a.m. tomorrow morning.
0.2 seconds, second half: Danny Green, you were a bad ass new god most of the night, fouling out with 0.2 seconds left is NOT AWESOME.
Final score: Carolina 72, Davidson 68. There were many ways in which this game was not awesome at all. Hopefully when we go up against Iona on Sunday, we won't see any of those. UNC, 1-0, 0-0.
Thanks for coming back, basketball. I missed you.
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3 comments:
hi ladies - just wanted to let you know that my voice has changed pitch so many times during this first half, that it's kind of scary. lot's of squealing for people like bobby, and then my voice gets all low and manly for tyler. what do you think that's about?
li'l bwudder...heart of a champion, but he CANNOT make it on his own.
And if he KEEPS trying to make it on his own, I'mma beat him with a shovel, NO LIE.
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