dean smith: still the king.

Carolina, behind the stellar running game of Shaun Draughn, dropped the Citadel 40-6 last night in the home opener. TJ Yates threw more touchdowns (2) than interceptions (1) and, I believe, was only sacked once. Citadel hung both their field goals on Carolina's second-string defense late in the fourth quarter, breaking up the shut-out, but aside from the rusty, no-score first quarter, I'd say that's something to be optimistic about. Except for TJ Yates. We're never optimistic about Mr. Yates over here. (And hey: at least we weren't as bad as most of the rest of the ACC! Those numbers are just sad.)

Never mind that I spent two hours sitting in traffic on the way home from work on Friday afternoon cursing the Carolina athletic department's clever scheduling, Roy Williams, Butch Davis, TJ Yates, everyone who had come in from out of town for the alumni basketball game, and Greg Paulus while fighting back into Chapel Hill against pre-game traffic, I had a fantastically good time reading about it yesterday morning and I wish we'd gone. Some reading highlights for y'all:

News & Observer: For UNC basketball, a 'family' reunion: For a moment on Friday night, the Four Corners offense returned to North Carolina.

The fact that it was being run by 2009 Naismith Award winner Ty Lawson -- and against 1978 National Player of the Year Phil Ford, who was coaching the opposite team -- was just another memory to add to 100 years worth in Tar Heel blue.

Carolina Blue: UNC assembles collection of stars: It looked like an NBA all-star game.

With 14:59 left in the first half, Carter got a rebound and on the break, he threw the ball off the backboard, got the ball and dunked it.

From Adam Lucas at Tar Heel Blue: On The Inside: You know the type: 18 Final Fours. Six national championships. Thirty NBA championship rings. 17 ACC tournament championships. Eleven ACC players of the year. 39 NBA first-round draft picks.

We know all these numbers because it's part of our education as a Carolina fan. But seeing them all together on one page, it's remarkable--even to those who lived it.

Buzz Peterson was about halfway down the list when he paused. "Wow," he said. "This is a pretty impressive list."

When you put all the alumni from our program together like they did on Friday night, it is without a doubt pretty damn huge. To outsiders, I suspect it may seem wankily self-congratulatory, but I'm glad the program did it, even if I wasn't there.

Quentin Thomas is the winningest player in the history of Carolina basketball.

In 2000, my dear friend the Grandmaster rejoiced when Roy stayed at Kansas, while I cried because Roy wouldn't leave. In 2003, the same thing happened in reverse, only it was because Roy was coming home.


The only person for whom I would have sacrificed tonight's game was the Grandmaster, because I have known him ten years and I love him like a brother. He sent me a text after the game, a text that told me all was forgiven. And it is. It is, Grandmaster. I cried like a bitch in the first half, and then I took a deep breath and said some bad words on the phone to my father and ate dinner and remembered that it's just a game.



And the thing is, I've seen a semi-final loss to Kansas before. To Roy, even. And two years later there was a title.

Let's not wait two years. Come back next year, boys. Come back, because there's business left unfinished. The score's even. Let's start over from scratch.

"Does this mean we could have a one guard as the leader of our people?"

After a week of pestering dex. with YouTube clips and ESPN articles and flail-y jazz hands, it's time to come clean. Friends, another gentleman in gym shorts has done the unexpected and swooped in to steal my heart from Tyler Hansbrough almost completely. No, it's not Bobby Frasor. I mean, yes, obviously, but that's actually not who I meant. (However, look to the future for a fist-shaking post about Bobby's glass joints and my plans to swathe him in bubble-wrap.)


Dear readers, let me introduce you to Joe Alexander, starting forward for the West Virginia Mountaineers:





I had an entire list of reasons why Joe Alexander and I are secretly meant for each other -- he's tall with slightly goofy ears; I canonically love tall goofy dudes! He was born in Taiwan and spent most of his formulative years in China; Chinese is one of my favourite cuisines! He isn't afraid to voice strong opinions about the ACC; dex. and I created a blog so we could be loud and opinionated about basketball (although I keep my ACC bashing to the house, or restaurants in Durham, or the backseat of A.'s car)! He respects Huggy Bear and chills to give adorable post-dunk post-game to a wasted Jay Bilas; I would give up a kidney and perhaps some unfertilized eggs to chill with a wasted Bilas and Huggy Bear -- but more than anything, I want him to guest-post here at WWTHD? Joe Alexander, it's totally a pants-optional gig! I'll be calling your people.


I feel it's only fair to note we're watching the Washington State/UNC game (because it's on the TV and we're too wasted to bother with March Madness On Demand) and even dex. is trusting Roy to coach our team without us, so we can devote all our energy to hollering at the West Virginia/Xavier score in the corner. Well. I'm hollering. Someone send dex. a valium, okay?

That's an awful lot of blue in the stands.

The first two Clemson games damn near killed me. If this goes to triple overtime, y'all will be on your own, because I will be in bed with the covers over my head.



All that said: I hope Clemson's rockin' the purple uniforms again today. I find them inexplicably awesome.

20:00, first half: Honestly, I swear that we have not taken a single tip this year. We have not had the first possession of the game in any game that I can remember, and that includes such memorable opponents as UC-Santa Barbara and the Kent State Golden Flashes.

18:58, first half: Terrible turnover by Deon, missing a pass from Wayne, but he got back faster than he has all year and got a block.

18:49, first half: The press trips Wayne up -- he's not a ball handler, which is why Marcus was the backup point guard to QT when Ty was out -- and then Tyler is called for a blocking foul and Rivers drops a free throw. For once. I have a bad, bad feeling about this game. I have a good, good feeling about the way Clemson's playing.

18:40, first half: Breaking the press by tossing it over the top to Marcus for a dunk. Good eyes on Ty's part.

17:43, first half: Quick steal by Tyler, doesn't dribble off his feet, tiny finger roll. Beautiful. UNC 6, Clemson 2.

17:07, first half: Fast break points off the press are going to be important here. That means quick looks ahead, over the defensive players for Clemson, to catch an open Heel under or near the basket.

16:31, first half: Is that two quick fouls on Mays? Or did I hallucinate the first one?

First TV timeout: Good Lord, I cannot live blog this fast. UNC 10, Clemson 8.

14:35, first half: Quentin Thomas, if you foul a dude and have to ask "What'd I do?", stop doing whatever it was.

12:59, first half: Ways in which this Clemson game is already superior to the last two Clemson games: we've led in regulation already in this game! That didn't happen in the last two! And we've made three pointers! That's some magic we don't always get.

Second TV timeout: UNC 18, Clemson 16. Two fouls on Oglesby, which is a tentatively good sign for us.

11:17, first half: Stupid, stupid ticky foul by Ty Lawson on a shot we were going to clear out, and then the press forces us to turn the ball over and give up a three. With two dumb plays and a block, we go from being up 5 to down 1 with another dumb foul on Alex Stepheson breaking up a fast break. Apparently during the TV timeout we put our stupid hats on again, instead of the good defense good press breaking hats we were wearing before it. Clemson 25, UNC 21.

Third TV timeout: My assessment, being neither a baller nor a coach myself, is that this game feels far less desperate than either of our first two Clemson match-ups. We're down two -- 27-25 -- but we're forcing as many mistakes as we're making, give a one or two swing either team's way, Wayne's stepped up big, and Tyler's going to come alive eventually. I hope. I feel better now than I did earlier in the game.

7:22, first half: Whenever QT drops a basket, my heart swells. I am so proud of what that kid has done this year. He stepped up big-time. Huge.

4:36, first half: Tyler attempts to save a ball out of bounds and nearly maims half the coaching staff. Roy got out of the way this time, though!

3:58, first half: Oh, holy crap, Danny Green goes 1-on-3, misses the layup, catches his own miss, and puts it in. Mays responds on the other end. UNC 32, Clemson 31.

3:04, first half: Danny Green picks off a telegraphed pass to James Mays, chucks it down-court over Wayne Ellington's shoulder, and Wayne drops a layup.

2:35, first half: Too many turnovers -- losing it on the press right there was our ninth in the half. And then we go down to the other end and Danny Green chucks the ball not to Wayne but to Clemson. Clemson returns the favor for a three. Clemson 36, UNC 34.

10.0 sec, first half: Tyler goes to help trap, falls down, and still manages to accidentally somewhere else on the floor cause a turnover. We'll get the last shot of the half, hopefully.

Halftime: Dude, this could have been way uglier than it was. Clemson 39, UNC 38. We could have been down ten. That is really, really possible, the way we played. We should be grateful we're not.

18:51, second half: Wayne Ellington has such a beautiful little shot, tying the game at 40. Mays picks up a second foul. Clemson apparently bought all the hairs that Deron Washington cut off. Marcus drops a finger-roll runner. UNC 42, Clemson 40.

18:00, second half: Tyler loses a contact. ("He leads the league in lost contacts.") Ty drives and puts us up four. UNC 44, Clemson 40.

16:26, second half: Tyler gets fouled going up, no call, gets his own rebound, scores, draws the foul, makes the free throw. UNC 47, Clemson 44.

15:35, second half: God, why can we not stop their three pointers? They're killing us on those. Wayne gets a quick bucket and a foul. UNC 50, Clemson 49.

15:16, second half: Wayne misses both free throws but pulls down the rebound on the other end off Rivers' missed three. Tyler powers inside on the other end. UNC 52, Clemson 49. Tyler picks up his second foul at the other end.

12:18, second half: We go up eight on a Danny Green drive and the announcers start talking about how Clemson is "in trouble". Then Cliff Hammonds strips Danny Green for a basket.

11:47, second half: Beautiful over the top pass from Tyler at the baseline to Wayne, for a lob up to Marcus for the dunk. Cliff Hammonds matches, but we out-run them again for a Marcus lay-up miss and a Wayne put-back. Purnell calls time-out in an attempt to change the momentum of the game.

8:19, second half: Ty drives and drops a lay-up for a ten point lead; Marcus draws an offensive foul on Cliff Hammonds; Wayne stands on the sideline and looks like he's not quite sure what's going on right now.

7:46, second half: Danny Green drains a three and puts the Heels up 13. Picks up his fourth foul on the other end, which isn't good, but isn't fatal, either. Carolina 72, Clemson 59.

6:50, second half: Miss a dunk, give up a three pointer to Clemson. Force a turnover, turn it back over, another three pointer. Offensive foul on QT. God DAMN it. UNC 72, Clemson 67.

5:54, second half: Danny Green fouls out. The ACC officiating -- both for and against us, for and against everyone -- has been appalling bad this year. Terrible. Cheap calls or no calls, nothing in between, and in the off-season, A. and I are buying all the officials rule books. There'll be a quiz in November next year.

25.2, second half: Sorry, I had to go stand on the porch for a while so I wouldn't yell at the TV. UNC 83, Clemson 77, Ty Lawson with one free throw remaining. Makes the second. UNC 84, Clemson 77.

19.0, second half: Clemson drops a lay-up and Ty Lawson commits a stupid, stupid fucking foul. STUPID FOUL.

16.8, second half: Dumbass foul on Tyler. Worst called game I've seen in ages. FUCK.

2.2 second half: For the love of all that is good and holy, QT, do not foul the three point shooter.

And scene: UNC 86, Clemson 81. 17th ACC tournament title for the Heels, 2nd for Roy. Bring on the East Region. Go Heels.

"Work on your shot by shooting less."

Digger & Bobby are delightful together, but Bobby with the full Game Day crew is seriously the best thing that's happened to me in forever. Rece is loling! Digger is wearing an ugly tie! Hubert is terrified of Coach Knight! Jay is losing his hair! Bobby is stumping for Georgetown! AMAZING.

Tie Watch #33: Inoffensive. Also, the entire outfit matches today, shep. notes, which it did not yesterday.


I'd have liveblogged Clemson/BC last night, except it sucked. But we're back for Carolina/Va Tech, and we'll be here all day.

19:50, first half: Aaaand we start the game with an offensive foul on Tyler. AWESOME!

19:08, first half: If Marcus is going to take it hard to AD Vassallo, that's a good sign -- dropped a short jumper over Vassallo.

18:11, first half: Great screening for a three pointer from the corner for Wayne.

17:56, first half: Tyler has his eyes up and his hands out today; he's stolen the ball twice already. But of course then Ty chucks the ball across the court for a turnover before we can take advantage of the Tyler steal. The key to this game is more steals than dumb turnovers.

14:01, first half: When Tyler takes his first free throws early, I feel better about things.

13:37, first half: Marcus Ginyard, that wasn't a charge, that was a tackle.

13:08, first half: The only good part of Wayne Ellington possibly being hurt is that the Duke has his leg in Surry Wood's lap. LOL.

11:44, first half: Danny Green drives, drops a bucket, and gets fouled. This game is going to be decided at the free throw line.

9:56, first half: This decision that the Heels seem to have made to play no defense and foul a lot when we get out-rebounded, it is not an awesome decision. Thank God for missed free throws.

9:44, first half: I dislike this court-level camera angle. It makes me queasy.

9:20, first half: With 5 on the shot clock, Ty Lawson drains a three-pointer, backpedals, and pulls down his shorts. PULL UP YOUR SHORTS, L'IL BRUDDER, THEY WILL FALL DOWN.

8:07, first half: I know we are capable of playing defense. So how come we're not playing defense today?

7:26, first half: Deron Washington buries a three and puts Carolina down 8. VT 29, UNC 21.

6:20, first half: Danny Green makes the three-point magic happen. VT 29, UNC 24.

5:44, first half: Mike Copeland makes some 2 point magic happen, and then fouls a dude. Plus-minus stands at zero, score stands at VT 29, UNC 26.

5:27, first half: Tyler Hansbrough always makes magic happen, but then he doesn't block out. VT 32, UNC 28.

3:11, first half: Tyler drops two free throws to tie the game for the first time in a million years. Then somebody for Virginia Tech chucks in a basket without looking. Then Wayne makes a layup. I can't keep up with this crap. VT 36, UNC 36.

1:30, first half: AD Vassallo is killing us. I don't understand why Marcus isn't guarding him.

Halftime: VT 38, UNC 38. It could be a hell of a lot worse than it is. New game in the second half. I have faith (and, thanks to shep., still most of my hair).

18:48, second half: Second and third chance shots don't help us when we don't make them.

12:56, second half: Put it in Tyler's hands, and we can win this game. Keep playing like flailing morons, and we will go home.

5:18, second half: "For the Tar Heels cannot live with prosperity." DAMN RIGHT, ANNOUNCERS. We force a turnover, we turn it over before we score. Jesus.

But as I just noted to shep.: we lost in the ACC semis in '05. We dropped the championship game in '93. I am remaining calm. Calm, and drunk.

3:11, second half: Dear Wayne: that three pointer was lovely. Thank you. I shall consider it my birthday present. Love and kisses, dex.

2:45, second half: Dear Wayne: I take that nice letter back. What the hell kind of motherfucking bullshit is mouthing off to Deron in front of a referee? You, sir, are fired. No love, dex.

2:38, second half: Beautiful put-back by Tyler on Wayne's missed free-throw. And Wayne matches a three. And I go put more amaretto in my drink.

Final: UNC 68, VT 66. HOLY CRAP WE DID NOT DESERVE THAT. Also: that's what you expect from a Player of the Year. Hell, yes. That shot, and the stupidest running motion in the world.

"You have to explain what a moving screen is, okay."

For the record, before I live blog this shenanigan, Digger Phelps & Bobby Knight together with Rece Davis are one of the most delightful things that has ever happened to television. Bobby's lasted two whole days without cursing! It's a miracle.


So, live blog. I have a beer, I have some fruit, it's time for basketball.

Tie Watch #32: It's brown paisley. With a blue shirt. Roy, I'm not sure that's a valid fashion choice.

17:32, first half: Until Toney Douglas just dropped that three-pointer (FSU's first basket of the game, made when Lawson lost his defensive assignment, which always worries me; I'm still not sure Ty is 100%), the most interesting thing that had happened in this game was our at-home discussion of Deon Thompson's socks. We approve of them.

16:07, first half: A turnover by the Carolina guards leading to a FSU fast break basket to take the lead at 7-6, and then Deon getting trapped under the basket for another turnover. Neither is a good sign, but neither is a bad sign, either. TV timeout; time to reclaim the pace for Carolina.

14:49, first half: A beautiful kick-out pass from Deon Thompson (who has stepped up lately, which I approve of, as well as his socks) to Wayne Ellington for a three. FSU 11, UNC 9.

14:03, first half: The thing about Wayne Ellington, which I often forget, is that he's almost as quick in the open court as Ty Lawson. A nice steal, good "guard hands" as Mike Patrick likes to say, and a stupid foul on the layup by FSU. Two free throws tie it, UNC 11, FSU 11.

13:11, first half: I think the inside game is key to this game -- draw the fouls on Echefu and Reid early, and then pound it inside to Tyler, Deon and Alex when it's opened up a little. The pass to Alex -- made basket, plus one free throw -- is a good example of that. UNC 16, FSU 14.

12:46, first half: The dribble penetration -- oh, how I hate that phrase -- of FSU is killing us. The defensive stops need to happen in the lane, without fouling.

12:16, first half: Tyler's turnaround jumper from almost the free throw line is a thing of beauty. UNC 18, FSU 16.

12:00, first half: They didn't call any fouls in the UNC/Duke game, and I think we've had more in the first half of this game (on both teams) than we had in the entirety of that one.

8:27, first half: Sorry, I got derailed by having to go outside and contemplate the Tar Heel turnovers to this point so I wouldn't have to lie down on the floor. But as of right now, I'm not wild about our play; we're having a very hard time getting the ball inside and we're not taking the rare open outside shot. Of course, I'm not a basketball player -- our cats, including the fat one, both have a better vertical leap than me -- so what the hell do I know?

6:16, first half: I was starting to wonder if we were going to need to pay for a basket, but Marcus drops a three from downtown to give us a three point lead and break a nearly five-minute scoreless drought. UNC 23, FSU 20.

4:07, first half: I wince every time William Graves touches the ball, because I know he's going to drop a long bomb, but when he makes them, I care less. After a Mims three, it's UNC 30, FSU 25.

2:20, first half: FSU can run with the Heels, and we're letting them; our rebounding has been poorer than usual today. Second half goals should include getting more rebounds, and perhaps getting some fouls called on Echefu under the basket, because I swear Danny Green just got mugged, twice. Maybe that's why we can't buy a basket. We don't have wallets any more.

After that TV timeout, Roy's coat is off. I REPEAT, ROY'S COAT IS OFF. I have no idea why Echefu is shooting free throws, but at least he only made one.

17:56, second half: Apparently no one wants to score this half; two minutes in and we're holding steady at the halftime score. UNC 35, FSU 28.

16:04, second half: Tyler Hansbrough breaks a 64-minute free throw drought by picking up the third point in an and-one situation. UNC 39, FSU 30.

14:18, second half: I hate it when Alex Stepheson bricks two free throws in a row. I love it when Tyler goes to the free throw line. It's not rocks fall, everybody dies; it's rocks falls, Tyler Hansbrough shoots free throws.

13:08, second half: Quentin Thomas drives, makes a layup. Tyler Hansbrough has picked up at least two National Player of the Year awards, but QT is my Carolina Player of the Year, no questions asked.

12:27, second half: Carolina forces a shot-clock violation with Marcus Ginyard smothering Toney Douglas. shep. sez: "Let's do it in many different positions, Marcus Ginyard!" in response to Billy Packer talking about Lean Cuisine's versatility. Lean Cuisine and your Charlie Brown head and your swishy little hips, you have played like a champ today, even if your box score line rarely shows it. We salute you.

10:31, second half: An IM conversation upon seeing Deron Washington during a TV timeout:

dex.: DERON WASHINGTON HAS NO HAIRS
dex.: WHERE DID HIS HAIRS GO.
a.: maybe Deron sold his hair to pay for that ridiculous necklace he had on

8:58, second half: We call Ryan Reid "The Puncher". (Which is different from Chris Paul, who I call -- with all affection, I adore Chris Paul -- "The Nut Puncher".) Just picked up his fourth foul. Go inside to Tyler.

8:38, second half: Although frankly, Tyler's getting beat on defense pretty badly today; I don't know if he's tired, or he's just not seeing the cuts, or what. And frankly, when you're Tyler Hansbrough, I feel that you can do whatever you want. You want to come over and eat all our food, Tyler Hansbrough, you're welcome to it.

2:46, second half: Wayne Ellington jumper, beautiful; letting Mims get his own rebound and score, less awesome.

2:22, second half: It really looks like somebody barfed on Roy's neck. Wanda, please burn that tie.

1:20, second half: I always, always want to reach through the TV and pull Ty Lawson's pants up. I worry that he's going to try on them!

16.9 seconds, second half: Marcus Ginyard drops a three at the shot clock buzzer. Roy nearly draws a technical foul for "making a point" about Tyler. Carolina wins, 82-70. I go take a nap in preparation for the Clemson game tonight, which I may also liveblog, for the lolz.

I was hoping for an Austin Peay-IUPUI tournament game, I can't lie.

Mostly I'm posting to use the mascot-on-mascot tag, and to make jokes about Oral Roberts. Oral Roberts! I mean, the jokes write themselves. Yesterday in the Summit League final, Jawz the Jaguar (representing for IUPUI) and Eli the Eagle (representing for Oral Roberts & the only Sutton family member goin' to the the Big Dance) got into it on the court. They were both ejected.


Makes me kind of wish I'd watched the Summit League final, frankly.

"Beasley's a freshman. Hansbrough's not."

Just a quick note that I stood on the street, waiting for the light to change, next to this blog's namesake this morning; he's very tall, and an excellent whistler.


And he's also the Sporting News Player of the Year for 2008, guaranteeing that Tyler Hansbrough's number will be retired to hang next to those of Jordan, Worthy, Ford, Jamison, Rosenbluth, in the rafters of the Dean Dome when he finishes his college career. Congrats, Tyler. We here at WWTHD? couldn't have asked for a better guy to name our blogging efforts after.

(We have been seriously remiss in our efforts to blog over the last, oh, six weeks. We will try to do better; I plan to bring the liveblogs back for the ACC tournament at least, and hopefully the NCAAs as well, assuming my blood pressure, my liver, and shep.'s sanity can stand it. I did write a post about Memphis that would have made angry Memphis fans come and yell at me, but then Memphis lost and it seemed sort of pointless to post it after that. But we'll be better during baseball season, I promise!)

"It's national TV, you shouldn't have worn that shirt."

OH MY GOD, SHUT THE HELL UP, STEVE LAVIN.


I have bedhead and I haven't taken a shower, but I also have beer and cheese. So it's a mixed bag. Coming up, Tie Watch #19, live blog, and the over/under on Gary Williams sweating through his suit coat!

Tie Watch #19: THE RAINBOW TIE IS BACK. I REPEAT, THE RAINBOW TIE IS BACK. SHIELD ALL EYES AND HIDE SMALL CHILDREN.

20:00, first half: What the hell was that violation? I blinked, and the Twerps had the ball.

The color on this broadcast is all weird. Everyone looks fuzzy.

19:29, first half: If Tyler bleeds, I'mma eat a bitch. I'm just saying.

17:28, first half: I can't lie: I love Boom Osby's hair more than just about anything else in the ACC.

I do not love that dunk he just made.

14:25, first half: I know we know how to play defense. I know we can. WHY AREN'T WE? WHERE IS THE RAGE BLACKOUT, ROY?

12:47, first half: TERRIBLE DEFENSE. I might be bald by halftime from ripping my own hair out.

11:29, first half: I seriously worry that Ty Lawson's pants are going to fall right off in a fast break one of these days.

Crowd sounds like they're back in it, which is good for us. I know people think that the Dean Dome is a whine-and-cheese crowd, but when the place gets going -- and it can -- it's not as tough as Cameron, but it's tough.

11:08, first half: Beautiful little steal from Alex on the inbounds. Defense is really it this year, we have the offense -- defend.

9:31, first half: How do you get home-jobbed at home, Christ.

8:46, first half: GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH US THIS WEEK.

6:46, first half: I have tried long and hard not to complain about ACC officiating, because it is a really hard job; I say that in all honesty. It is a sucky, awful job, with Coach K in one ear and Roy in your other, but for fuck's sake, we are getting screwed with our goddamned pants on today, and I do not understand why.

6:04, first half: Tyler makes his first field goal. Holy fuck.

4:07, first half: So you can call ticky-tacky touch fouls on us all day, and when Wayne gets smacked in the face, it's all-ball? AWESOME, OFFICIATING CREW, AWESOME.

3:05, first half: We cannot hold on to the damn ball today. It's liked somebody oiled our HANDS.

2:27, first half: FINALLY a goddamned offensive foul. CHRIST.

Halftime: My only comment on our performance thus far was a very loud burp. There's really nothing fucking else to say.

I've pretty much just thrown up my hands; I don't know who this team is, I don't know what they think they're doing out there. We've survived this earlier this year, we have, but -- god damn if I don't think we need a loss. I hate losing, it makes me crazy, but that damned 0 is sitting there and laughing at us, and this team -- this team playing right now, right this minute -- needs to get blown the hell out. They don't deserve a number one ranking. They don't deserve a ranking at all.

It was never an if we lost; it was a when. We should be 1-3 in the ACC right now. We're 3-1. I call that goddamned lucky.

"The game is over, and there was way too much extracurricular activity."

No serious live-blog tonight; we're bad bloggers, I know, but we're both getting sick and I need to mostly just lie on the floor drinking tea spiked with Jack Daniels and declaring my love for Jay Bilas.


I can't lie, I very much enjoyed all aspects of the Duke/FSU game tonight, but I especially loved Greg Paulus punching a dude in a face mask in the, well, face mask. Shades of Greg Oden! Only, as shep. said, about twenty inches shorter.

"I think we've sunk to a new low."

So yesterday, while attempting to climb over a table, The Roy got tangled in a cord for some piece of electronic equipment and fell down and smashed his head open; he later blamed it on all the "dadgum memorabilia" in his "too small" office. There are so many jokes here, you guys, I don't even know where to start.

Today we face The Amazing Red Blazer of Blindingness at home; I am going to attempt to live blog sans booze, so I hope it's not as close as Clemson. As our dear friend J. said to her husband this week, "I don't think shep. will forgive you if dex. dies of alcohol poisoning." Plus I forgot to buy beer.

So here we are, then. 16-0, facing down 15 straight ACC games. If there was ever a time to cultivate my zen, it's now.

Official Tie Watch #17: Inoffensive. We haven't seen the rainbow tie in a while! I wonder if Wanda burned it, finally.

19:40, first half: Marcus Ginyard, that was not awesome.

19:12, first half: Wayne Ellington, that was awesome.

18:32, first half: Tyler missing free throws always weirds me out.

Also, the Roy showing off his stitches on national TV makes us laugh and laugh. He's like a little kid with battle scars. Or maybe Tyler accidentally tried to eat Roy's brains!

17:47, first half: Dear Len and Mike: Alex Stepheson had a family emergency; Deon has been here the whole time. P.S. Thank you for the apology.

17:08, first half: Well, the news that writhing around on the floor is no longer a travel is good news for Tyler. And Ty. And pretty much everybody on this team. They writhe a lot.

15:06, first half: That pass. I just had a genuine moment where I wanted to do QT. Those are few and far between!

13:37, first half:

dex.: That's not the shirt you hate.
shep.: It's one of them.

13:28, first half: There's pretty much nothing in the world that makes me happier than forcing a shot clock violation. Unless it involves naked dudes in my bed, really.

12:30, first half:

shep.: "Coach! Coach! We tried real hard, we all helped! Did you see, coach? Did you see?"

AND YET: TIP DRILL, NO BASKET. (But Danny does get free throws, the first of which he PROMPTLY MISSES.)

10:30, first half: Beautiful defense, forcing a turnover, plus a fast-break basket and a free throw. Good boys.

9:52, first half: Sidney, you're not supposed to say that on TV.

In a discussion of how Bobby Frasor is going to be a good coach, given his fondness for sitting next to Roy during games:
dex.: [Bobby]'s not allowed to sit next to Roy anymore, though. He's got to sit at the end of the bench. I hope he's making friends with Patrick Moody.
shep.: I've resigned myself to the fact that my wedding is going to be full of wretches.

shep.: I love Roy's interpretive dance.

7:05, first half:

Len Elmore: If it weren't for bad luck, State would have no luck.

LEN. THAT ISN'T VERY NICE.

6:58, first half: I think Sidney's about to stroke out. Poor Sidney.

6:39, first half: Tyler Hansbrough just had an assist. :D :D :D


HE HAS EIGHT REBOUNDS, JESUS.

2:48, first half:

Mike Patrick: If Thomas is scoring, then it's over, isn't it?

OH, SNAP, MIKE PATRICK.

2:13, first half: SHARKS THAT SMELL BLOOD.

shep.: CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP.
dex.: NOM NOM NOM WOLFPACK.

Halftime:

shep.: You feel comfortable with a 30 point lead?
dex.: Yes. Mostly.

I am hurting for State right now; I mean, we have played exquisite defense, best all year, and it's been unbelievably fun to watch, but oh, State. I wanted to win, but I wanted a good game.

10:00, second half: What can you really say about a second half that followed that kind of first half? Not much. We're playing good defense, though not as good as the first half; we're shooting well, though not as well as the first half. It's just ... you know. What is there to say?

"do you know what the paulus is majoring in? your paulus, i mean."

If it isn't already clear, shep. is the calm, placid watcher in this house, and I am the neurotic, flailing mess. I come by this honestly, though: my mother is also a neurotic, flailing mess, and I learned how to watch Carolina basketball from her. I'm a doomsayer, a worst-case-scenario maven, the one in the room who thinks that we're about to go 0-17 in the ACC, despite the fact that we only have 16 games scheduled this year. I can't help it. Something could always go wrong! Seasons rarely end as happily as I want them to! THERE ARE A LOT OF WHAT IFS, HERE.

I keep trying to drink enough to make me zen, except then I end up posting live blogs exhorting Mormons to "stop doing things!!!!!", which isn't the best blogging material in the world.

Nevertheless: I am reasonably well-lubricated with white wine, and I have shouted out some anxieties at Greg Paulus, and we are ready to watch Carolina, sans Bobby Frasor and Alex Stepheson, go to Death Valley to face a very, very good Clemson team. Should the live blog cease midway through the first half, please assume that I have fallen over dead, and send condolences to shep. as appropriate.

Tie Watch #15: I think it's one of the paisley ones. As long as it's not the rainbow one, Jesus. (It should also be noted that this morning, on Inside Carolina Basketball With Roy Williams, The Roy was wearing the ugliest sweater in the history of the universe. This sweater would have given epileptics seizures. Wanda, how could you let him out like that?)

19:30, first half: Dude, I think that Clemson dude traveled. AWESOME.

18:35, first half: Wayne Ellington, thank you for being awesome.

17:22, first half: "He's always strong." YES, THANK YOU, TYLER HANSBROUGH IS VERY STRONG.

17:12, first half:

dex.: ACK. ACK. SHEP. *points at Oliver Purnell*
shep.: That is a ... very orange coat. I still think the Roy needs a Carolina blue coat. It would be ugly, but it would be awesome.

I think this is going to be a brutal game. Lots of fouls.

16:15, first half: Whoever's posting up against Tyler -- Booker? -- is dropping his goddamned shoulder and shuffling through the frigging paint every time he touches the ball. And it's too early for me to have a rage blackout.

(I swear I am not one of those fans who thinks her team is constantly getting home-jobbed, I really am not. I just think we're constantly getting home-jobbed in Clemson, every damn year. I still blame Rick Barnes for this, too, in case you were interested.)

14:49, first half: Shot clock violation. That's a good sign for our defense.

Roy, that tie isn't in and of itself offensive -- but with that shirt, uh, no.

14:11, first half: Booker is pushing the paint around, god damn it.

11:55, first half:

a.: at Clemson, everyone gets home-jobbed
dex.: my eyes are getting home-jobbed by oliver purnell's COAT

11:12, first half: BOOKER JUST RAN OVER DANNY GREEN, AND I AM ABOUT TO START DRINKING WINE FROM THE BOTTLE.

10:05, first half: I totally just broke our corkscrew off in a new bottle of wine. shep.: "Perhaps that is for the best for you right now." a.: "if this game keeps up you are going to need more something."

dex.: "I HAVE BEER."

8:35, first half: Great tap-out by Tyler to Ty. Good boys. I like that motion, that speed. Our defense hasn't been bad this game, but we need to stop fouling. The bench isn't deep enough.

8:06, first half: Random Announcer, "I'm winded calling this game!"

6:00, first half:

dex.: You just missed the best news about Bobby Frasor.
shep.: Did he announce our engagement on national TV?

5:00, first half: THAT WAS NOT OKAY, QUENTIN THOMAS. NOT OKAY AT ALL.

3:37, first half: MIKE COPELAND. AWESOME.

3:02, first half: I never thought I'd saw this ... but these announcers make me miss Dick Vitale.

2:22, first half: Danny Green is a bad ass new god.

0:41.8, first half: GODDAMN IT, DEON.

Halftime: I'm a little more zen than I thought I'd be, but still not enough. Every time we start to pull away, someone (QUENTIN THOMAS) does something stupid. Over/under on Roy's rage blackout at halftime?

16:27, second half: I AM ZEN -- THANK YOU, WANYE -- LIKE AN OCEAN.

14:00, second half: Wayne Ellington is the only reason I haven't drowned myself in the washing machine.

13:38, second half: Seriously, Clemson, don't put your junk on Tyler Hansbrough. It might not be there when you get back up.

The Roy is making a face, Jesus.

5:34, second half: Okay, I can't even.

We're getting so frigging home-jobbed. Up yours, Clemson, you dumb jerks.

1:50, second half:

shep.: I'm glad to see him washing it off, he usually just sticks it back in there!

0:24.1, second half: If we go to overtime, I'm out of beer.

0.00.4, overtime:

dex.: i am breathing deep
dex.: i am zen
a.: told you
dex.: I AM ZEN
dex.: THE DUKE IS ZEN
dex.: EVERYONE IS ZEN
dex.: I AM THE ONLY DRUNK ONE, THOUGH

OH JESUS HOLY CRAP THANK GOD.

"It's just that I expect to win."

(Lyrics available here.)

Ryan Parker, in addition to being a genius, is also a Kentucky fan, so before I am dogpiled by UK fans for having the nerve to keep picking on the Wildcats, in my defense, your own fans are starting to turn on Gillispie. I'm just sayin', is all.

(Happy New Year to all eight of our beloved readers. Now that shep. and I have recovered from two straight weeks of drinking, we'll be back to tip off the ACC season with a depleted Carolina team heading down to Death Valley to face Clemson tomorrow night. I'll have booze, shep. will have cutting wit, and we'll both have a live blog, tipping off at 7:30.)

"seriously, stop saying the Beast Fister!"

Some random things I'd rather talk about, as opposed to thinking about Bobby Frasor leaving during the second half of tonight's Nevada/North Carolina game with a torn ACL (three words, dear readers: oh. my. god. Or four; BRING ME ANOTHER DRINK.):

• Tyler Hansbrough's uncle, Sean 'The Beast' Fister. What. Okay, so maybe I'm actually twelve years old, and maybe I made many, many inappropriate jokes about alternative sexual practices every time the ESPN announcers said his name. Not that there's anything wrong with fisting, of course. I'm just saying, that is one big dude.
  
  
• Roger Clemens hiring investigators to discredit Brian McNamee, the dude who told George Mitchell he injected the tub of lard and 'roids with steroids and HGH on multiple occasions (while he was in Toronto, and again when he played for New York). My amusement at these shenanigans is never-ending; mostly because I can't stop thinking, maybe Andy Pettitte was around whilst Clemens was being shot in the ass with steroids! And then, maybe they kissed. Awwww. That's true love, baby.
  
  
• Mark Prior signing a one-year contract with the San Diego Padres. We love Mark Prior, here at WWTHD? -- at least I do, because I'm not a Cubs fan; however, I'm fairly certain Tyler Hansbrough would not love him because he's a big whiny bitch -- but we love the Padres more and man, San Diego, what are you doing? MARK PRIOR'S ELBOW IS MADE OF GLASS. WASN'T THAT PROVEN SCIENTIFICALLY AT SOME POINT? We discussed this acquisition tonight, over beer and roasted potatoes, and I think our feelings were best summarized when dex. turned to me and said, "remember, in high school, when your mom told you getting pregnant would ruin your life? I'm pretty sure Mark Prior is the Padres' teenage pregnancy." Truer words, my friends.
  
  
• TORN ACL. TORN ACL. TORN ACL. SEASON-ENDING SURGERY. TORN ACL. Alright, so Bobby Frasor is also made of glass, and I might be incapable of thinking about anything else until sometime well into 2008. I have here a straight razer and a bottle of gin, I stop cutting when the gin's all gone.

I can't lie, I don't want to change the channel from the Georgetown/Memphis game.

The bathtub is scrubbed, the dishes are clean, shep.'s Christmas present is finally acquired (so if Tyler Hansbrough is missing from today's game, well, you know why, sorry, Tar Heel fans, she needed him more), and I have a glass of wine and some chocolate. Bring on the liveblogging!


(No, I have no opinion on the bizarre -- and getting more bizarre by the day -- news about the three Tar Heel football players who were kidnapped and assaulted over the weekend, but I can assure you that neither shep. nor I were involved. I was in Baltimore and shep. was napping on the pineapple couch. Besides, if it didn't involve TJ Yates getting kicked in the junk, you can be sure we weren't involved. That's the only assault we're interested in!)

So Santa Barbara. I think I vaguely remember them from a tournament five or ten years ago, and they all had long hair and tans. I am fully expecting a team full of surfers to face us today, and if I don't get them, I'm gonna be sad.

Coming at 1 PM: the 11th Tie Report of the year. I hope it's something Christmas themed!

Pre-game: Whoops. Tyler's still at the basketball game. Sorry, shep. Maybe for your birthday, when he's out of season. (Also: whenever pre-game talk covers how the opposing team has "one of the great shooters in the nation", I sort of want to throw up. Dear Wayne Ellington: step up today, or I shall put you on notice for no other reason than I CAN, and also I like my blood pressure where it is, not 20 points higher. Love and kisses, dex.)

19:57, first half: Well, that's a nice start.

11TH TIE REPORT OF THE YEAR: inoffensive; possibly red and white checks of some sort, which isn't a hand-painted Santa but could have been worse.

19:01, first half: Dear Tyler: please eat someone. Love, dex.

18:30, first half: Ty Lawson is so fast it scares me, sometimes. That little pick-off was just stunning.

17:51, first half: Ty Lawson, also that was a terrible shot, Jesus.

17:25, first half: In the spirit of the holiday season, I would like to note my immense gratitude to Nike for the white compression jerseys that Carolina wears at home. Good god, that's some hotass basketball player on my team, shit.

16:38, first half: INCREDIBLE steal by Tyler, and a sweet little spin on the dunk. OH, TYLER, I LOVE YOU.

15:34, first half: At the first TV timeout, I'm reasonably pleased with the pace so far; we've had a few more turnovers than I'm ever pleased by, but the defense has been stellar, so that makes up for it. Tyler, of course, needs to get more touches, but he's the focus of every defense until someone else makes them focus elsewhere, so I'd rather see Danny, the Duke, or Ty step up and blow it open until UCSB can't double-team Tyler anymore.

But I'm not the coach, so nobody asked me.

13:57, first half: Ty Lawson, Raymond Felton, Kenny Smith, Phil Ford. God, you know, I don't really think about it? But, fuck, do we have some of the best point guards in the history of the game in our program. Some really fucking fast dudes, too. And I watched that 2005 team like a hawk, and Ty Lawson isn't as cautious or necessarily smart as Felton, but he's a better shooter, and he's faster.

12:44, first half: I need Deon to have a good game. I think Deon needs Deon to have a good game, too.

12:02, first half: Dude, QT has arms. How come I never noticed that?

11:50, first half: Look, I'm actually sad that Roy didn't make anybody barf at practice this week, because I find the news reports after Roy's run people into barfing to be fucking hilarious, but I did enjoy this quote from him today: "I didn't try to kill anybody, but I wanted them to know what a hard practice was. I thought about trying to kill them, but 12 hours helps." I think about trying to kill them sometimes, too, Roy. You're not alone. I think that Butch could probably help you with a support group for wanting to kill your players; I mean, he coaches TJ Yates.

11:44, first half: I miss ESPN's game interface when the games are on FSN or the networks; I like the little thing that tells me how many timeouts a team has left. Also, the tie is more than inoffensive; it's delightful! With a pin-striped suit! And a matching handkerchief! Awwww, Roy.

11:06, first half: Tyler ... missed a free throw. What? WHAT. He made the second one, though, so I'm placated.

9:36, first half: Bad ass new god Marcus Ginyard, let me show you him. Let me show you Marcus Ginyard.

9:05, first half: Fuck, those two steals! Ty Lawson, speedster! Tyler Hansbrough, playing like a guard! HOLY SHIT, THIS TEAM. Tyler has an assist!

8:11, first half: Every time the Heels do something dumb, I find myself shouting, "NO! NO! BAD!", which is what we shout at the cats when they do things like scratch the couch and try to steal nail files off the table and try to eat people food, so every time the Heels screw up, the cats leap about six inches in the air and try to look innocent.

6:22, first half: LOOK, DOES ANYBODY IN THE NATION KNOW HOW TO DEFEND THE THREE POINTER? BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TWO RAGE BLACKOUTS FROM A STROKE, HERE, AND I THINK THE ROY IS, TOO.

3:27, first half: I know we like the fast break, Ty Lawson, but you couldn't have kicked that one out to Bobby for a three instead of trying to toss it in yourself? SHAME ON YOU.

2:55, first half: Somebody just patted Marcus's head, n'awwww. He is such a good defender it scares me. He reminds me of Jackie Manuel, Brian Reese, Phil Ford.

2:22, first half: Also, Marcus is hottt.

1:08, first half: Tyler tossed that in OVER HIS HEAD, BEHIND HIS BACK.

0:45, first half: Bobby, baby, I know you can shoot. I know. I just saw it. DO IT MORE.

Half-time: Half-time props, Deon Thompson, Marcus Ginyard. Great rebounding and stifling defense, respectively. Everyone else has played up to my expectations, but those two have exceeded. Props, guys.

Half-time, part two: Wow, Memphis really beat the shit out Georgetown after the half. Memphis scares the shit out of me, no lie. And not just because I think that John Calipari eats brains. One more undefeated down. God, I hope somebody beats Memphis before the Final Four.

18:08, second half: ... well. This just got less interesting to live blog, though I must admit I'm more comfortable when the Heels are up 30.

16:03, second half: We've reached the stage when I feel bad for UCSB, because there's no way that they can pace or pass or shoot with us, and with Deon and Tyler playing like wing-guards, hands in every passing lane, there's just no stopping them.

14:53, second half: According to the dudes on the TV, we can go deep into March without making a three pointer. I DISAGREE, TV DUDES.

11:10, second half: The TV dudes say: "The LEAD is THIRTY for the Tar Heels." !!!

9:36, second half: HEY, LOOK, A THREE POINTER! And then one for them, but whatever.

8:23, second half: TV Dudes, I do enjoy looking at Deon Thompson! Thank you for sharing him with me!

7:15, second half: We've outscored them 39-2 on fast break points, Jesus.

6:45, second half: What a beautiful catch, pass and score. Props, Ty. Props, Marcus.

5:31, second half: 17 points for Marcus Ginyard, a career high. HOT DAMN.

3:26, second half: This game is pretty much over, but I feel compelled to note: Tyler and I own the same water bottle! Clearly this is a sign of ... something. N'AWWWWW, LOOKIT, JB TANNER, HI, SKINNY WHITE DUDES WHO GET TO PLAY NOW.

And game: 105-70. Not much of a game, really, but I got to see Greg Little score 5 points, so that was totally worth it.

"Screw you guys!"

Let's just get this out there right now: Maryland losing to Ohio University (not even THE Ohio State University!) and BC losing to UMass do not signal the weakening of the ACC, the freezing over of hell, and the coming of the apocalypse.

I mean, it's not a good sign for the Maryland basketball team this year, frankly, but it doesn't mean that the ACC is crumbling, crumbling all around us.

Really.

I swear.

It doesn't.

Come down off the ledge now, John Swofford. Please.

The first thing you need to remember is that, in the case of BC, UMass specifically and the Atlantic-10 in general were once actually national powers. Temple at the height of John Chaney's brilliance; Xavier off and on for years and years; UMass in the days of (it kills me to give him props, but) John Calipari and Marcus Camby. (Sure, UMass's trip to the Final Four was invalidated because it turned out that Camby took money from agents, but that's really neither here nor there nor relevant to talent.) UMass beat a very solid Syracuse team in the Carrier Dome. I wasn't surprised that BC -- a team that lost its heart, soul, and leading scorer when Jared Dudley left -- collapsed in the face of a fierce, underrated UMass team. You mean you were? It's an upset, I suppose, major conference losing to mid-major conference, but BC isn't supposed to be great this year anyway. UMass may be up-swinging again, finally recovering from the mess that Calipari left there. And I say good for them if that's the case.

The second thing you need to remember is this: welcome to the brave new world of Parity & The Internets. (That's be a pretty good band name. If I ever start a girl punk band, I shall call it Parity & The Internets. I cannot play an instrument, but should I learn, that is.)

Here's where I out myself: I spent three years, between my BA and my MS, working for a private company that profiled student-athletes and marketed them to college coaches, in pretty much any sport you can imagine. (We worked with fencers. And equestrians. Only two or three of each, though, before we realized we couldn't made it work, which is really not relevant to this story.) As odd as that sounds, we didn't actually violate any NCAA rules in what we did; coaches have thousands of rules about contacting athletes, but there aren't actually any rules about athletes contacting coaches. So what my company did was put good athletes -- not blue chippers, not All-Americans (well, not often; although I have met and drunk with some current NBA players), but solid All-State athletes who couldn't play for the big schools because of size or talent or whatever -- in touch with coaches at smaller schools, where the students might get a free education and the coaches might get a good addition to their team. We worked with coaches from D1 down to NAIA and JCs, and what we did was, essentially, level the playing field for coaches with very small recruiting budgets.

Revenue sports (ie, sports that make the university active profit; football, men's basketball and women's basketball at BCS schools are always rev sports, and almost nothing else ever is, though sometimes you'll have an outlier at a school where the program's exceptional; women's soccer is a rev sport at Carolina, because of all the titles) at Big D1 schools have recruiting budgets that mean they can afford to travel, to see every kid they want to. Rev sports at smaller D1 schools and definitely at D2, D3, NAIA schools can't afford that. (Yes, I know D3 schools can't offer athletic scholarships; they can say, we want you and we will find money for you if you come here and play on our team. It's not an athletic scholarship, it sucks for non-athletes, it's what happens whether or not you think it sucks.) Non-rev sports at any school can hardly afford to travel, quite frankly.

The Internets changed that, because we could send unknown gems of kids from Arizona (kids who weren't being recruited by anyone) to coaches in Michigan (who couldn't afford to recruit outside of Michigan before the Internet) and improve their basketball (soccer, softball, swimming) teams 150% immediately. We could get kids who weren't being recruited, but should have been, in front of coaches who had $6000 for a whole year and that includes travel, and we could get coaches players they wouldn't have heard of, otherwise. We could send All-State swimmers to Wisconsin (one of my favorite kids I ever worked with; I worked primarily in Sales and Marketing by the end, not with the athletes, but this swimmer from California, a girl we'll call H., who's got to be a senior at UW now, was one of the few kids I hung onto from the period of time at the beginning when we all did everything) and there are still a few D1 basketball players I see on TV on a regular basis, who I can look at and grin and think, I remember when you were 6'9" and weighed 150 pounds soaking wet and were so shy you wouldn't say more than four words to me at a time, and all you wanted to do was get Bruce Weber or Bill Self or Roy Williams to pay attention to you, because we got the coach who didn't take a second look at this kid, who's going to be an All-Conference center in a major conference this year, to take a third look.

We did that with the internet and a massive database and a lot of phone calls. We did it without violating any NCAA regulations or by-laws. I was unhappy with a lot of things at my company when I left, but what I was doing, what the company was doing, was never one. I believed in the work and I believed in the kids and I believed in the success stories we got to see.

There's ways and ways of recruiting these days, and the small schools are starting to compete with the big schools. Look at this year's football season: parity. Anybody can beat anybody on any given day.

Parity's coming for college basketball, too. That's all this means. I may think there are problems with the coaching system that's in place right now, and I do, especially when it comes to patience with coaches, but that's not the same as thinking the whole product and program is flawed. I don't think the whole thing is flawed; I think it's changing, but not necessarily for the worse (except in the case of the ACC logo, gosh-darned friggin' BC). There's nothing wrong with the ACC, per se, that isn't already a root problem with the Maryland basketball team specifically. They might not be very good this year, but that's not the ACC's problem -- that's Gary Williams' problem. He's not using the internet, metaphorically speaking, and parity's coming for him because he's gotten hammered on recruiting the last couple of years. There will always be majors, mid-majors, and minors -- there will always be a play-in game and a team that doesn't even really go to the Dance. The NIT will continue to be the Not Invited Tournament. But there's a corner that's being turned in recruiting, and it's about the Internet, and it's about parity.

Ohio University just stuck that lesson to Maryland early, is all.

(All opinions in this post reflect my opinions only; I will back up with facts as best I can without violating my non-compete and my non-disclosure agreements, because for all my problems at the end, I still respect my company; shep. cannot be blamed for my outrageous opinions at all.)

"I'd love to see TJ Yates in the Peach Bowl. I'd laugh and laugh and laugh."

Greg Little is joining the basketball team starting at today's practice.

I'm willing to give this a try; the basketball team has had some success with adding football players as walk-ons, mostly for bodies and minutes in otherwise thin roster years, in the past, most notably the spectacular season Julius Peppers had in 2000. But there have also been flops: Ronald Curry was recruited as a point guard, spent more time being a decent quarterback, and quit the basketball team after three years, which, frankly, was only one of the many problems the team faced in the Matt Doherty era. So it could go either way, and it's not like the roster is particularly thin this year, either; Roy's comments on the addition of Little to the team are just vague enough for me to both trust him and raise my eyebrows speculatively.

The one thing that nags at me, though, is the implication that this is being tested out so as to use the basketball team as a recruiting tool for Butch Davis; I'm all for having a football team that isn't an embarrassment, but not at the expense of Roy or the basketball team. Greg Little doesn't worry me, but the idea that this could be a common thing down the road does, a little.

"He's a tiger!"

Right, time for a much less serious post. I have a Jack and Coke, I have an appalling game preview headline that included the phrase "pulsating Palestra" (if you're now as blind as I was reading my RSS feeds this morning, thank the Philly Inquirer), and I have Wayne Ellington's home game. I've heard the Palestra's a real tough place to play, and I'm looking forward to this game.

shep. has informed me that I'm not allowed to complain about how we blew a 20-point lead against Kentucky and only won by 9; this is hard for me, as Coach Smith taught me well to expect a team to play nose-to-the-grindstone defense until the very last minute, no matter who your opponent is or how much you lead (or trail) by. But I do want to commend the guards, especially Wayne Ellington and Danny Green, for really exceeding my expectations so far this year. The swarming defense on Tyler is something I expected -- there's really no other way to shut down a consensus Player-of-the-Year candidate who plays as hard as Tyler does -- but the stepping up of the guards in the face of that defense, that's something I'm impressed by.

So 45 seconds before tip-off, as we were watching Dick Vitale be a douche, our cable goes out. T. has very kindly allowed me to descend on her like a hungry Tyler Hansbrough on a stack of pizzas, and I am now catching up, which means there's no liveblog tonight, guys. So far, three minutes in, I am impressed by Penn, impressed by the Palestra, impressed by our defense, and impressed by Danny Green.

We are neutral on The Roy's tie (Official Tie Watch #8). (Also, from the weekend: Official Tie Watch #7: classy, Roy. We like that one.)

(I also made T. show me the half-time score; I'm more pleased by that than the last score I saw before I left the half. But I'm still not wild about the way we're playing so far, I don't think. I'll be back with a post-game analysis.)

Apparently Tyler Hansbrough wants to consume the basketball. Tyler, that is probably not very tasty, for the record.

Kentucky basketball has a player transferring mid-season, WHAT?

On the way home from the Duke/Davidson game on Saturday, shep. and I got to talking about how hard it is, in a lot of ways, for young coaches in the NCAA men's basketball scene right now. There's no stability, it seems to me -- so much job-hopping so frequently, and the generation above the young generation getting ready to retire from long-time high-profile jobs. Jobs like Kentucky (where it takes balls of titanium to coach, and nobody but Pitino's really managed it since Rupp retired) and, eventually, Duke and Carolina and Kansas, where it takes a certain sort of person to really make it work, because the fan bases are just so demanding. (My mother says to tell you all that it is because her generation is full of people who demand instant gratification; blame it on the Boomers, she says.)

Despite all that, there are good young coaches who are going to survive to coach at major programs and thrive; A. and I made a list over IM on Sunday, because I have faith in John Pelphrey at Arkansas and Jeff Lebo at Auburn and Mark Turgeon at A&M, and she has faith in Jeff Capel at Oklahoma. Pat Knight won't be his dad but he'll get 20 solid years at Texas Tech, and Sean Sutton the same at Oklahoma State. Mark Few is just old enough -- and just crafty enough -- to have made Gonzaga a respectable national program without a fan base that needs championships every other year, and Dana Altmann was smart to bolt back for Creighton because I think Pelphrey's a better fit at Arkansas than he ever would have been. Oliver Purnell and his ugly orange coat will survive at Clemson, but it's looking like Paul Hewitt might not at Georgia Tech.

As many as there are who'll survive, there are others who aren't going to survive with the moves they've made; Jeff Czeblik should have stayed at Air Force and made them a true national power -- he could have. Steve Alford was right to get the hell out of Iowa, but New Mexico was a dumb-ass move.

And Mark Turgeon owes Billy Gillispie a fruit basket, because I truly, honestly believe that Gillispie will last no more than five years at Kentucky before he's run out on a rail. I'm saying that here and now: by 2012, Gillispie will be gone, and there's no real Rupp coaching tree to find that titanium-balled man (or woman, even) to take on that fan base. Pitino had the nuts to handle them, but he'd be stupid at best and suicidal at worst to leave Louisville to go back to UK. And I can't see anybody else out there who will be given the benefit of the doubt long enough to make the changes that program needs.

There's no good young coach who was bred to cope with the Kentucky fans, because right now it's all about taking the high profile jobs when they open up, regardless of whether or not there's qualifications. I survived the incredible pain and cruelty of the Doherty debacle at Carolina; I know what it looks like when someone gets caught in the cross-fire of fans that can't be controlled, because they expect to be the best, every year. When Gillispie goes, it won't be as personal, it won't be hurting family like they did at Carolina with Doherty, but it will be ugly, and it will be cruel, and it will be the end of his career.

Which is a fucking shame, if you ask me. He could have won titles if he'd stayed at A&M long enough; I think he's ruined his career taking this job.

And you know what? The Kentucky fans were awful enough that Tubby Smith, who is a great coach, left for Minnesota before they could fire him at UK. There's something rotting in the program at Kentucky, and I think it's the corpse of Adolph Rupp. Somebody with titanium balls should do something about that; nobody's going to.

"I swear Tyler wears makeup."

Okay, look, I cannot lie: the most important thing about tonight's game is that there will be two teams wearing the Nike compression jersey uniforms on the court tonight.

Well, that, and, you know, a basketball game. But mostly compression jerseys.

Here's your live blog, if you want to talk about what's going on in the game. I promise to be slightly less completely off-my-face than I was Saturday night, plus probably fewer jokes about Mormons. But you never know. Especially about Mormon jokes.

Also worth mentioning before tip-off: I keep meaning to start a weekly point guard report, on all the top PGs in the country, except that after the departure of last year's NBA PG draft class, I don't know who any of them ARE, except for Carolina's three and Drew Neitzel, who I unkindly refer to as the neo-nazi, and Ish Smith at Wake Forest, who looked better when he added six inches to his height with his 'fro. So hopefully that will happen soon, but I'd have to do a lot of reading about it first, and we're driving to Charlotte to see the Duke/Davidson game over the weekend, and I'm not sure when I'll have time.

Carolina has three point guards. There. That's your point guard report for the week.

20:00, first half: And we lose the tip, but force a turnover. Gotta force turnovers to run. Good boys.

Last year Bobby Frasor lost his starting spot to Ty Lawson at the Ohio State game. Tonight he got it back.

19:10, first half: I try not to complain about officiating, especially this early, but Tyler gets eaten up and they call the foul on Deon? Bullshit. AND a foul on Ellington. Um. I'm not real pleased by this, I can't lie.

18:43, first half: Three fouls in a minute forty five? WHAT.

Also: Official Tie Watch #6: that is so ugly I think I'm blind, Roy. Wanda let you leave the house like that?

15:59, first half: That's good defense, Bobby. I still wish we defended the three pointer better, but honestly, after complaining about Carolina's three-point defense for almost -- no, actually ten years, since Arizona blew us out of the Final Four in '97, I don't know how you could defend the three pointer better. It's not good, but how does it get better? If The Roy can't make it happen, I sure as hell can't make it happen just by complaining about it.

15:07, first half: What the hell was that alley-oop shit, Bobby Frasor?

13:35, first half: Beautiful backdoor pass by Danny Green to Tyler, finally.

13:07, first half: DEFEND THE THREE POINTER, DAMN IT, OR I WILL BE FORCED TO HAVE A RAGE BLACKOUT.

12:59, first half: Hey, we brought the real QT instead of the pod QT. Awesome. And by awesome, I mean not at all.

8:16, first half: At this time out, I feel it is an appropriate time to tell you that I did, in fact, cry at Jimmy V's ESPY speech, and at his family and friends talking about him. I always will. It's been 14 years. I still cry. It's been five months since Skip Prosser passed away. I'll still cry in ten years, I'm sure.

7:51, first half: Seriously, Bobby, what was that?

shep.: Uh-oh. [The Roy's] glasses are off.

6:25, first half: We can't buy a gosh-darned shot, can we? (I'm trying to keep my language Roy-rated. I'm going to say "friggin'" a lot.)

5:31, first half: DICK VITALE HAS STOLEN OUR NICKNAME FOR WAYNE ELLINGTON, WHAT IS THAT. I started calling Wayne "The Duke" before the season even started last year! I demand royalties.

2:43, first half: "Well, if you don't pass it to [Tyler Hansbrough], he'll go get it himself." He's only 3-11 tonight, which is just -- I have no idea what to do with that. Baffling to me.

Halftime: Tyler's 4-13, and John Diebler can't miss. I have to go ... make another drink.

17:57, second half: God, we just look like we've forgotten how to play basketball entirely.

17:31, second half: Every time I see a guard go down, I think of Derrick Phelps going down in the ACC tournament finals in 1993, and I cringe. Wayne's a little banged up, but I think he's okay.

17:10, second half: Beautiful pass, Bobby. More like that.

Also: back injuries are scary. Scary, scary, scary.

16:44, second half: Ty's out. Wayne's out. Danny, step the heck up.

15:50, second half: It would not surprise me if we were the worst three-point shooting team in the country. Frig.

14:07, second half: Here are some things I am thinking about while trying to be zen about this game:

• Why shep.'s cat is attempting to climb her door frame.
  
• How odd it already looks to see last year's clips of Wayne Ellington wearing #2 instead of #22.
  
• Wine.
  
• Our three-point defense.
  
• Derrick Phelps, one of the greatest defensive point guards Carolina's ever had.
  
• My iTunes library.
  
• Wine.
  
• Wine.

12:47, second half: Bobby Frasor needs a three pointer in the worst way. shep.'s cat needs to stop trying to climb the door.

11:51, second half: The Roy Glasses On/Off Watch: OFF! I REPEAT, THE GLASSES ARE OFF! (The suit coat is still on.)

11:13, second half: ... I think Deon Thompson just passed to himself.

8:17, second half: The Duke may not have scored much tonight -- and Tyler hasn't either -- but they're both having defensive games of their lives, which counts for something. Tyler's shut Costas Koufas down.

6:28, second half: I am so writing Dick Vitale a letter demanding royalties for the nickname "The Duke". Seriously. I have been using that since Roy signed Wayne Ellington. Dick Vitale, you owe me! You owe me a lot! Enough that we don't have to have real jobs! We'd post more, then.

5:19, second half: Ten minutes without a field goal for tOSU. And we play bad defense?

4:30, second half: I take that statement about our defense back. I TAKE IT SO BACK.

3:18, second half: The Duke: bad ass new god. HECK YES.

1:55, second half: I would also like to note: I said earlier that Wayne Ellington has not had a good offensive game; this was a lie. I apologize for that. Wayne Ellington, you are amazing. Thank you.

Tyler just looks lost, though. I don't know about that. He's missed free throws, he never misses free throws.

Final: Carolina 66, tOSU 55. 6-0. That was ugly. But you know what? We'd have lost that last year. For the record.